


leave no blood in the waters you slept in

by dekupages



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Non-Graphic Violence, Stevonnie is the main character to be clear, Unethical Experimentation, heavy Hurt but lots of Comfort, i dont care and its pretty easy to see it that way, minor Pearl, multiple plot important OCs, steven and connie get captured and have a Bad Time, you can take the & as / if you want
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-20 00:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17612153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dekupages/pseuds/dekupages
Summary: There has always been something wrong with the Diamond Authority. Wounds have started to heal, but there are old, old scars floating closer than any of the Crystal Gems know.Scars that want to make a better empire than the Diamonds ever could.Scars that want to make better Diamonds.





	1. Chapter 1

"But- my Diamond, please, we can really help-"

"ItsokaythankyoubutI'mfineIpromisethanksfortheofferbutnobye!" The door closed heavily behind him with a wooden 'snap', the blinders rattling against him. Steven held his breath and his weight against the door as he felt the overeager Citrines on the other side give it a testing push, listened to them talk quietly amongst themselves for a second, and let out a deep sigh of relief when he finally heard their heavy steps meander back down the steps of the beach house.

It felt like it had been weeks of this. It was hard to imagine it had only been a few days.

He felt eyes on him and looked up to see Pearl stepping slowly out of her ramrod-straight stance. It really was unnerving, the way tensed stillness settled into her like it had always been there when too many Homeworld gems played nice around her. Habit, she had said. He didn't like to think about it.

His stormy thoughts must have been plain on his face. "Steven? Are you alright?" Pearl's big eyes shone like- well. Her big eyes gleamed in the light as she looked at him with worry, a weary sort of look that held less "I don't think you can handle this" and more "I don't think you should". It was one he was getting uncomfortably used to.

"I'm... fine, Pearl. Thanks for asking. I really need some alone time though- I was trying to go to the Big Donut when they ambushed me, and before that a Ruby who got separated from her squad wouldn't stop following me, and before that- look, it's just... been a long day. I'm gonna go... take a walk, I guess. Don't worry, I have my phone," he said, pulling out the device in question and stopping the question a breath before Pearl could ask.

She looked away, a little embarrassed to be so predictable but pleased he had it nonetheless. "Alright then, I guess, have fun."

A silence settled over them as she held another syllable in her mouth, letting it ice over in her throat, but she stayed still and said nothing.

Maybe if Steven had had a little more patience, if he weren't wearing so thin, he would have stayed. Maybe if he had spent a little less time at the fountain today, had a little more energy left to talk, he would have stayed.

But, feeling guilty but unwilling to stop, Steven walked to the warp pad instead, waved goodbye, and vanished in a column of light. Pearl's throat closed tight around whatever she wanted to say.

\--------

Rolling fields of green faded into existence from all encompassing white. The cold of West Dakota stung sharply compared to the balmy warmth of a lava-heated house on a beach in Delmarva. He shivered sharply as he stepped down and untamed grass consumed him from the waist down. Wading through the grassy part of the field was his least favorite part of this- it was like slogging through mud, but the mud would scratch him if he didn't notice a nettle or something. The breeze at least couldn't get his bare feet buried in the grass.

He listened to the wind whistling through the empty place as he trudged on. He could go faster if he wanted, but he was enjoying the quiet. The place would still be there if he took an extra minute or two. The earth flattened out beneath him, revealing a jagged circle of closely chopped grass and his best friend with her back against a dozing Lion on the other side of the hill.

Connie would still be there if he took an extra minute or two.

He didn't bother speaking up, just meandered his way down, admiring the way the wind made rippling waves out of stationary hills of grass. He admired the way Connie fit right into Lion's side, like she had always belonged by the side of some immortal magical beast like it was the most normal thing in the world. He admired the soft smile on her face as she read, the way the soft blue of sunlight filtered through a grayed out sky played out against her face.

She spoke first as Steven entered the clearing. "I was starting to wonder if you forgot. Caught up in gem stuff again?"

Steven took a huge breath and sighed as loud and long as he could, flopping down onto the ground in front of Connie to moan muffled into the dirt as Connie laughed. He picked up his head and squinted at her through a face full of grass and dirt. "You have no idea. There was this big group of Citrines who wanted to-" his voice slipped into a low, booming imitation of the Citrines in question- "protect our Diamond from the rebel scum, we know they won't step out of line when the other Diamonds are here but what about when they leave- ugh, and Pearl had to hear some of that, UGH- and there was this Ruby who got lost and was following me around like the world's angriest wet puppy- and a handful of original Crystal Gems told me they didn't want to talk to me and were just waiting for me to die so Rose could regenerate- and I had to stop a fight between Lars and Jasper cause she called the twins something Pearl told me I should never ever say- and- uuuuuuuuuuuugh. It's been... a loooooooong day."

Connie reached out to him and he took her hand, letting her pull him up to sit beside her. "I know you're really antsy about getting to work, but... do you want to read Platerealm with me first? It's pretty funny. You just sound like you need some peace and quiet before we go back to... you know. Dealing with All That." Steven could hear the careful emphasis she put on the words. Readjusting to a fundamentally different way of understanding himself, holding two violently opposed factions together by the skin of his teeth, dealing with the hundreds and hundreds of gems demanding to talk to Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond- All That indeed.

"I would like that." He settled into her side, head resting on her shoulder as she put her head on his own and shifted the book to be in front of both of them. Lion's slow breaths raised them up and down like a boat on quiet water, gentle and rhythmic. He was warm against the sharp chill of the air.

A part of Steven felt like he was wasting time. There was still so much to be done, still so much to figure out, still so much to rebuild. He settled deeper into his place between Lion and Connie and forced his attention onto the book in front of him instead.

\--------

It was, eventually, disappointingly, time to get back to work. They hadn't gone to all the trouble of hacking away a clearing for nothing, after all.

Steven stood in the middle of the makeshift arena, breathing deeply to focus as Connie and Lion waited with baited breath a ways back. Or- Connie waited with baited breath. Lion had turned and was leaving. Alone, she watched as her best friend summoned light to gather in his hands, as pink spilled from the space in front of him, as it coalesced into...

Into air.

"RAARGH!! I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH THIS LIKE- TWO YEARS AGO!!" Connie watched contemplatively as Steven stomped around the clearing, yelling and flailing in frustration. He had been- worried but sure it was temporary, or at least convinced himself it was temporary the first time he failed to summon his shield. He'd gotten more and more worried as he kept failing, but here in the clearing, after a good fifteen failures in a row, he got mad. She was kind of wondering if it would happen. She was worried too, but she knew she couldn't be much of a help in this situation. She knew what it felt like when Stevonnie summoned their shield, but that didn't make her a gem.

And anyway- Steven may not have his shield at the moment, but it wasn't like he was defenseless.

"Why don't you try something else?" The wind had picked up and she had to raise her voice over it.

"Like what?" Steven kicked at some grass and glared at it like it was the reason he was shieldless.

"Liiiike, your airwalking? It'll at least make you feel better!"

"What?" He shouted back at her. Man, the wind really was picking up, and picking up fast-

What-

In the sky above the warp pad, something huge and white was pushing slowly through the thick cloud layer.

Steven must have seen her eyes get huge, because he turned to see and was running towards her in a second. Their hands met and Connie didn't even have time to grab her backpack or her sword before, with one huge leap, the hills were far below them. The floating monolith just kept emerging- a wedge like the bottom of a boat that descended and showed no signs of ending above the clouds. Around the base of it, winds tore up terrain like it was so much dust, carving a huge slash in the land before the thing had even touched down.

At the arc of his jump, Steven found his footing. Suspended perfectly in the air like it was solid ground, he hauled Connie up with one hand so she could wrap herself around him and brace for whatever he was clearly preparing to do- the thing was turning to face them do it NOW Steven-

He leapt off of air and they were swallowed by grey.

Hiding in the clouds. It was a pretty good idea, even if her teeth were chattering as she could feel Steven practically vibrating beneath her. She adjusted her grip, clinging as tight as she could. She could still hear the roaring winds, couldn't tell if they were getting louder or if she was just hearing things. "Steven... we can't go back to the warp pad. We just have to keep going and hope we outrun whatever that is." Even as she said it, a heavy shiver racked her body. She couldn't see his face, but she felt the single step forward in the air.

Even now, she couldn't help but thank her lucky stars she wasn't afraid of heights.

Another step. Connie was sure the wind was getting louder. Another step. Was there something moving in the clouds behind them? Another step.

The sky tore open.

Wind ripping her hair back, wind turning the protective clouds into nothing, wind trying to peel her fingers off of Steven, wind destroying his path and sending them plummeting. Wind- wind pulling them back, wind pushing up hard and fast enough to leave them bobbing in the air on a geyser of stinging force. Decidedly not wind grabbing a fistful of her jacket and pulling, and decidedly not wind floating down to surround the two in a circle of imposing blues. They hovered, some with gems she could see- long, cloudy, pale blue things like pencils sharpened at both ends. She couldn't see the one carrying her up, but she'd bet they were the same type. The sound of snapping wind was almost unbearable.

Steven shivered beneath her, being pulled by her grasp. She considered dropping him and giving him a chance to run, but with all the very obviously wind-controlling gems around, she didn't think it would do anything but separate them. Pressed front to front like they were, Steven could see whoever was carrying them, but all she heard from him were shallow, shaky breaths. She didn't blame him. With all the wind around, it was a challenge to do anything else- forcing the air to slow down and change directions felt like a monumental task when anything that went in tried to rip its way out just as fast.

She was panicking, she thought, or at least should be, but the dull weight of dread and focus it took just to breathe was sapping her emotional energy. Any energy. Her limbs felt like lead, even as she fought to keep holding Steven.

The shadow of the monolith swept past her. They were moving much faster than she thought. Steven felt like he was shaking apart in her hands, and she felt near the same as black walls slipped into her vision and she found herself in what was unmistakably an airlock- one that quickly rose to meet her as she was dropped unceremoniously onto the cold floor. Gasping, she felt awareness rush back to her as precious air flooded back in- Steven, gasping and crying against her collarbone, his arms clinging tightly to her jacket. The sharp chemical smell that was disorientingly familiar. The blue gems around her walking leisurely off deeper into the structure.

The cold sinking suddenly into her.

She looked around to see white walls. "Wha-" No transition, no shift in awareness, just- she was in the black airlock, and then it was cold, and then she was in a completely different place. The walls around her towered over her, tugging something like vertigo from her chest as her brain tried to process the shift- a long boxy black hallway with walls covered in familiar geometric flourishes to a huge white room, bigger than her whole house and completely blank of any designs or aberrations at all. She wasn't cold anymore- the room was a perfect room temperature without a hint of breeze. The clinical, chemical smell from before was stronger. It didn't even feel like she had moved- Steven's weight hadn't shifted in her grasp at all. She was just- there, and then she was here.

"Steven, what- what happened? Are you okay?" Pulling half out of his grip, she sat up and looked around. White white white and nothing else.

"I'm- fine I think- what was that though?! It was so fast, we were just- we were on the hill and then there was wind and then we tried to run but they caught us so fast and then we- teleported or something?! Connie I have no idea what's going on!!" Connie felt Steven curl into her back and squeeze her and reached down to put her hand on his side.

"Me either... I don't know where we are but it's huge! It doesn't even look like gem tech, either, that's always either stone or weird computer chip-looking lines- this is just kinda glowy and blank and- I'm not even sure how I know how big this place is! It's hurting my brain..." Her hands came up to cover her eyes.

"Huh, this place kinda reminds me of the room I was in before my trial actually." He released Connie to sit up next to her, peering around like there was anything to look at. "Oh hey, look behind us- is that a..."

She pulled her hands down and turned to see- "Is that a toilet?"

They stood up and walked to the corner, looking down at the completely normal looking porcelain toilet sitting completely incongruously in the glowing white room. Steven seemed hesitant and confused when he spoke. "At least we have a toilet I guess?" Connie could relate.

She did a 180- white white white white... and a toilet, and nothing but a toilet.

"What... do we do now? We have no idea where we are or who has us or what they want! Which, by the way, WHO HAS US?? This is obviously gem stuff and those were gems but- I thought we were done with this!! You convinced the Diamonds, you convinced White Diamond to stop, everyone in Garnet's room got uncorrupted, everyone is safe and home and no one's fighting so WHO ON EARTH CAPTURED US!!" She whirled to face him, nervous circle stopping sharply with her arms thrown in the air, eyes a little wild with panic. She searched Steven's confused and distressed face for only a second before letting her arms fall and her breath rush out as her head dropped, stance collapsing like a released bowstring. "I really thought we were done with this..."

She saw Steven's sandals in her view and felt his thick arms wrap around her. "I did too. I'm scared and confused too, but I know we'll get out of this. We've gotten out of worse together, right?" He forced a shaky grin at her and a pang of anger at the situation filled her.

"And you got really hurt to do it. I don't- I just don't want you to get hurt again." Her arms came up to hold Steven back, feeling how he couldn't stop trembling.

"I- I don't wanna get hurt again either."

Connie wished... she had been so, so happy, and hopeful, and relieved when they came home. Even the Diamonds had bent under Steven's incredible force of kindness and will, and now- now there wasn't anything left! They were safe! Steven had all the time in the world to learn the things his gem was hiding yet without the time crunch of impending life-or-death battles, she didn't have to worry when his phone died that she'd never see him again cause he'd been stolen off- they were supposed to be safe now. And now... Connie wished, as she held Steven and heard him sniffle frantically as he tried not to break down completely... she wished she could have kept him safe.

'Ding!'

Their heads snapped up at the sound, like the sound an intercom makes to get everyone's attention. It was disgustingly friendly considering the atmosphere, and it made them both pull away and rub away their watery eyes to try and focus on whatever was happening now. When both were looking up at the small screen that had appeared in the middle of one of the walls, the smiling figure on it began to talk.

"Hello, hello! Welcome welcome, I'm so happy you're finally here! It's been a long, long time coming you know! We were going to give you some time before we started but I admit- I'm just too, too excited! We'll start simple to start with- jump as high as you can when you hear the buzzer. That means you too, Connie-" she jumped at being directly addressed by the gem. Gems that weren't the Crystal Gems never did! "-we need a baseline after all! And since this is the very, very first test, I'll give you a treat for completing it- I'll answer one question when you're done! Understood?"

At the first pause in the big gem's speech, a thousand questions tried to bubble up at once, but before more than a syllable could come out, she clapped her broad hands in front of her broad grin and said, "Excellent, excellent!" and the screen abruptly vanished.

Steven and Connie looked at each other with frustration and bewilderment plain on their faces. "What-"

'zzt!' The buzzing tone was softer than she was expecting it to be, and the white walls abruptly shifted to green. "What do we do? Should we jump like she said?"

"I mean, she said she'd answer a question if we did, so-"

The walls were shifting color, fading into red. Connie interrupted Steven to grab his hand. "WE SHOULD JUMP NOW!" She let go and crouched down to jump as high as she could and felt her legs rattle when they hit the ground. She looked up and saw Steven hit the ceiling, catching himself with his forearms and pushing off the ceiling with them to come floating back down. The walls had changed back to green.

Steven landed gently on the ground beside her, looking worriedly at the space the screen had appeared before. It popped into existence as soon as both of his feet were on the floor, and Connie got a good look at her this time as she spoke.

"My my, your friend is sharp! I thought I'd get to zap you already, but she was a little quicker on the uptake than you. You should really thank her! Anyway, I did promise you one question. What shall it be then?" The strange circular gem on the back of her left hand stood stark against her light pink skin. She was only visible from the waist up. A white corset gleamed bright against her duller colors, and a dark gold top emerged from the corset to hug her chest and shoulders. Needle-like streaks of shades of yellow ran heavily through her bare arms, as well as through her grinning face. One neon pink eye and one bright lemon one stared back at her. What seemed like piles of yellow hair in every shade pooled down her back, with a single pale pink tuft curling up by her chin. Her gem was nearly clear, but filled with needles of yellow and gold like the patterns on her skin. She was very big, the way Jasper was but softer.

Steven spoke up, and Connie realized she had lost her chance to ask while she was examining the gem on-screen.

"Who are you?"

She laughed. "Do you mean you singular or you plural?"

"Plural!" Connie blurted out, far more interested in learning who on earth they were dealing with than any singular jailer.

The gem laughed again. It was getting on Connie's nerves. "Well! I'll give you the short version for now, and we'll see if you can earn some more questions if you want to learn more. We are the Shining Alliance! And we, we are here to make gemkind _great!_ Now, lets try something a little more difficult-" frustrated complaints formed on both their tongues at the non-answer, "-bupbupbup! No complaining, I'll just tell you now that I can't stand it. Like I was saying, a little more difficult; when you hear the buzzer, run until you hear it again." And the screen disappeared again.

"Steven?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I hate this already."

"Yep."

'zzt!'

\--------

'zzt!'

They went down like sacks of bricks before the sound had even finished. Taking heaving gasps of air and sweating buckets, they lay a few feet away from each other.

'Ding!'

It took all of Steven's effort just to turn his head to see the screen. The gem's unnerving, constant grin was uncomfortable to look at.

"So! Now you know roughly what you'll be doing while I'm in charge. You can rest soon, since you've had such long day and if you can't move I can't test your physical abilities, but I'll give you this for free." Her smile curled down a little into something less cartoonishly evil and more sincere. "My name is Rutilated Quartz. And the Shining Alliance is the only place I ever, ever could have had the chance to be myself."

Connie and Steven stared at the blank white wall and dreaded whatever was next.

She spoke up a little later, once neither of them were fighting for air. "So... somewhere where off-colors can be themselves?"

Steven rolled over to look at her. "What do you mean? I've never seen a gem like her but she didn't seem broken or like a fusion or anything."

Connie stayed staring at the ceiling. "Rutilated quartz isn't a type of quartz on its own- it's just quartz with rutile inclusions. She's made of two different things."

Steven gasped. "I didn't even know that could happen! I wonder if it feels like fusion or what..."

"I don't know but honestly? I don't really care. Whoever she is, however she feels- she's still trapped us, and she still said something about 'zapping' us that I don't like at all. We just have to hold on for now, I'm sure we can figure something out..."

Steven hauled himself to his feet with a groan. "Yeah... I just hope the gems find us soon."

Connie suddenly gasped sharply at him. "Steven, wait- do you have your phone? I left mine in my backpack-"

He fumbled in haste and sudden brilliant excitement, but it quickly turned to sharp disappointment as he realized he was searching an empty pocket. "It's gone..."

She sighed deeply, not particularly surprised but still unhappy about it. "I figured, it just didn't hurt to check."

He sighed, then turned and stopped dead in his tracks. "Is that a bed?"

"What- when did that get here?!" He heard footsteps behind him as Connie jogged over to examine the mystery furniture. "We were here the whole time, and we didn't see or hear anything!" He walked closer and reached out to feel the soft cotton of the pink blanket folded at the foot of the bed. White sheets, pink blanket, wooden frame, caseless pillow- it was just. A bed. That seemed to appear out of thin air.

They looked at each other with the vague distress of people who genuinely have no clue what's going on. "Do we... should we get some rest while we can I guess?" Connie mulled it over in her mind, chewing her bottom lip.

"I guess... I just don't think I'll be able to. I'm too keyed up, even after all that running."

Steven turned sit on the bed, nudging off his sandals before laying down and shifting up to be properly in the middle of it. "I feel that, but I really am tired. The running and the getting caught and the gems from this morning- it feels like this day has lasted a year." He yawned huge at the far wall. "So I'm gonna sleep while I can. Wake me up if anything happens, K?" He felt a hand card gently through his hair and leaned back into the warmth of her palm.

"Okay."

\--------

A soft sound echoed through the water. A hand grabbed his shoulder and was trying to pull him out, but it was darker in the water and the light was too bright...

He woke up anyway to Connie shaking his shoulder. "Steven, it's time to get up. We're... we're doing more tests now."

He sat up with a groan. "Already?"

"Yep!! It's been a whole six hours, and we're ready to get back to it!" Rutilated Quartz's voice shocked him fully awake and he quickly found her screen and her ever-present grin. "Before we start we're gonna do some jump tests- not real ones, I just need to calibrate the dimensions of your room. Alright? Alright! Up up, we haven't got all day!" Steven swung his legs over the bed and toed over his sandals. Sliding them on and standing in one motion, he looked around. No new furniture, one tired and wary looking best friend. "I'm not a particularly patient gem!" He walked to the middle of the room.

"Just... jump?"

"Yes!"

He jumped and brushed the ceiling, only for it to vanish from under his fingers with a sound like rubber stretching too far, but from all over and way, way too loud. He covered his ears in surprise and dropped.

"Steven!" Solid arms caught him before the floor did, and he thanked Connie as he dropped out of her arms to stand. "No problem just... please don't do that again."

"I won't- I'll be ready for it next time. The noise just startled me."

"Good! I'm glad. Jump again." He looked up at the ceiling, now a few feet above where it was before. He jumped, brushing the ceiling and hearing the noise again. It was so loud...

"Hm. Jump." The same thing, but this time the ceiling shot out from under his fingers, falling far away from him like a rocket.

"We're going to go a little farther than we need to and work backwards instead, alright? Now jump."

The ceiling was... somewhere above him, too far to pick out among the white white white. He prepared to jump as far as he could, and prepared to make a bubble for when he hit the ceiling. He launched, and- the ceiling was above him still, out of reach.

When he landed, he turned to look at Rutilated Quartz and was surprised to find she wasn't smiling for once. She looked surprised too. "Well. I may have told a fib to you- I didn't go a little farther than necessary, I pushed the height scale as far as it could go without drawing too many resources for me to do it without filling a permission report first. And you very nearly hit the top anyway. So- you should be proud of that. It was... very high." She frowned at whatever interface was apparently below the feed as she typed. "This does put a damper on certain tests, knowing your vertical range is so absurdly high. We'll make up for it in other ways. For now, we'll work on basic strength and endurance tests. As much as I would like to do testing entirely myself, underlings don't get that kind of honor. Blue Moon Quartz wants the basic stuff out of the way so she can get... inventive with Pink Diamond's gem." There was a nasty smirk on her face as she finished that Steven didn't like one bit.

"Blue Moon Quartz? And what's- why did you call me Pink Diamond's gem and not just Pink Diamond?" The gem and not him- there was a panic clawing up his throat he couldn't suppress as he gripped his gem. Why his gem and not him?

She laughed. It didn't help. "Ah-ah, you earn questions, I won't give them away for free! Now, this one is just for you, as fun as comparing a real human's results to yours is." She really did look a little disappointed. "I'm going to drop weights, and you're going to catch them. They will get heavier. You don't have to keep holding them- you just have to let them impact and keep from getting crushed." He really was starting to hate that smile.

He heard a yelp, and turned to see Connie waving her arms to try to keep balance as the floor beneath her slid quickly and silently away. "Connie!" She jerked to a halt in the corner and toppled.

"I'm fine, just worry about the test!"

'zzt!'

The ceiling dropped.

"THOSE AREN'T WEIGHTS, THOSE ARE HUGE!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CATCH THEM?!" He bubbled on instinct and felt the first weight rattle the pink forcefield before sliding smoothly into the green ground like it was water.

"Like that! Keep going, you'll hear a buzzer again when the test is over!"

Another hit the bubble, this time visibly cracking it. "I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP, THEY'RE TOO HEAVY!"

"Sure you can, I'll zap Connie if you don't!"

The bubble warped and strained beneath the next, cracks spiderwebbing across it as he reached up and tried to push it back up with his body alone. "I'LL GET CRUSHED!!" Tears streamed down his face as he tried to find a way out of this.

"You might get hurt, but don't worry, I won't let you die."

The next was coming and it was too big and too fast, he had to- he rolled out of the way half delerious with intinct and fear, felt his bubble burst in a shower of pink as the block passed smoothly into the floor like it hadn't crashed into it fast enough to shatter his bubble by clipping it. Red filled his whole vision.

"AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!"

"CONNIE!!" He turned and saw her, yellow light filling her- hurting her- bringing to her knees as she screamed in pain-

"The test hasn't stopped, you know."

He leapt under the next block and threw up the strongest bubble he could. He could take it, he had to take it, anything to make her stop hurting Connie-

It burst, and it felt like the temple landed on his back. He screamed, one short burst of pure panic, before the buzzer went off softly and the weight slid right off of him like it had never been there. Green switched silently and instantly to white.

It was silent in the room for a second as Rutilated Quartz watched the children gasp for breath.

"I think that that was a valuable learning experience for all of us, wouldn't you agree?"

Steven wished more than anything he and Connie were home, away from her, away from this, away from the hurt that wouldn't stop following him.

He heard Connie get up. His arms wouldn't do what he told them to- he tried to fold them under himself to push him up, but all they did was shake beside him. Connie's steps were slow and uneven.

"It looks like you'll need a little time to recoup. I won't be gone long- don't get comfortable." Even the white she left behind was better than more of her face.

"S-Steven? Are you alri- alright?" Her voice was wet and shaky. He couldn't lift his head to look up at her.

"'m... fine. I just... I just need a second. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry she said she'd zap you but I panicked and-"

Connie's soft shushes silenced more apologies. "I'm... I'm fine too. I jus- I just need a second too. I s-saw, I saw what happened, you- you couldn't have taken that hit." Her hands shook like leaves in his hair. "You shouldn't have taken that last hit either. I... could have t-taken- I could have taken it."

Steven felt how hard she was trembling, heard how wet her voice was as it fell apart. She couldn't have and they both knew it- but they both knew he couldn't have taken it either.

"... Sh- She just... wanted to hurt us. You h-heard how disappointed she was that she couldn't zap us earlier. Even if you had taken it, I don't, don't think she would have stopped until you gave her an excuse... to do it anyway." Connie knelt down by his head, cradled it in her shivering hands. Looking at her was like being crushed all over again- her face wet with tears, red with developing burns, shaking with residual energy. "We have to get out- out of here Steven. She's g-g-going- she's going to kill us if we don't."

"...I know."

"...We have to heal you. You won't- if she's gonna keep, keep doing this... you can't heal the long way. You won't be able to take it."

"...Connie I can't do that. It hurts so bad Connie, I can't- I can't do that to you- you can't ask me to do that to you." It hurt to force his voice out past the cracks and tears.

"I don't h-have any other choice. Steven please-"

"If I get hurt like this again then- then, then I'll do it but I can't- I won't if there's a chance you dont have to." His eyes bored into hers and his voice came out in a whisper. "Please Connie. Not yet."

There was hurt and terror in her watery eyes, but she closed them and bent down and whispered into his forehead, "Alright. Not yet. Next time. I won't let you get hu-hurt again, not if I can help it, and we'll go home and you can rest and heal the normal, normal way and we'll be fine, we'll both be f-f-fine."

He couldn't stop crying, even as his tears poured over her hands and the red of her burns faded back into healthy brown, even as he felt Connie's silent sigh of relief against his forehead.

"Can you stand? She said she'd be back soon..."

"I did, didn't I!"

\--------

"Now, you've been very cooperative test subjects, and I would like to reward your good behavior, both of you! You learn quickly and you stand up to punishment well! I couldn't ask for any better from you! Since you've been so very very helpful- and because you can't test if you starve to death- breakfast is on the bed. I'll be back, of course, but not for a while- you might as well rest up. See you soon!" Her terrible, awful face vanished without a trace.

"I hate her." Steven's voice was rough and soft, worn out from yelling and worn out from exhaustion and worn out from everything.

"I do too." Connie's was better. She felt kind of bad about it- about being able to get right back up when Steven was put under more pressure and couldn't do anything but weather it. But it was better than being too injured to help Steven or help them escape. She walked over with slow steps to the corner he had collapsed in.

"I wish she was gone."

"I do too." She bent down and slid her arms under him, choking down the memory of another time in another monochrome room pressing against her throat. With a heave, he was secure in her arms, and his bruises were bare to see.

"I wish we were gone."

"I do too." Her steps were heavy as she walked to the bed. She could see a blue cafeteria tray from who-knows-where sitting on it; two wrapped sandwiches, two juice boxes, two jello cups, two plastic spoons. She laid Steven down on the bed, nudging the tray aside. He squeaked in repressed pain, and she flinched. "We have food- you can sleep in a minute, we have to eat and keep our energy up." His eyes squinted open and found the tray.

He heaved a deep sigh as he pulled himself to sit up against the headboard. "Alright. Pass me a sandwich, please?" She unwrapped it (PBn'J) and gave it to him, watched as his shaky fingers wrapped around it and couldn't look any longer. She pulled the tray to sit between them and they ate their food in silence.

"...Are you mad at me?"

She turned to him in surprise. "Of course not! I'm mad at her, I'm mad at this, I'm mad that your dumb powers can heal everybody but you, I'm mad at the Shattered Stinking Alliance- but I'm not mad at you. There's nothing to be mad at me for."

"...I kept letting you get zapped cause I couldn't do the tests."

Connie shoved the empty tray off the bed and shoved in next to him to sit side by side, wrapping her arms around him. "The tests were broken and unfair, and she's just plain cruel, and I can heal instantly anyway. I don't blame you for a second." She felt his arms wrap around her too. "Even if you could do it better- it doesn't matter. Doing it would've hurt you more. No matter what we do, it's gonna hurt one of us, and I'm the one you can heal, so really you should let me take more of it-" His arms constricted around her.

"No! Connie, no, you can't- I don't care if I can heal it, that doesn't mean you should get hurt more than me! If anything I should take more of it because I can, and you're stuck getting zapped for nothing at all!" Connie buried her face in his hair.

"That's stupid too, the tests aren't something you're choosing to do. Lets just... agree to share. Deal?"

Connie felt the growing wet stain by her collarbone, but there were worse things in the world than a little snot and tears. "D-deal."

"We should get some rest while we can." Steven nodded, and they sank down and pulled the soft blanket over them, muscles still weak and eyes still wet. "Goodnight, Steven."

"G-goodnight, Connie."

\--------

'Ding!'

Connie's eyes snapped open like she had been zapped.

Steven groaned on the bed next to her, a pained sound that made her wince in sympathy. She reached over to pat him awake anyway as she sat up, rubbing her eyes so she didn't have to look at Rutilated Quartz's awful face for just a second longer. She couldn't put it off forever, and her meager meal from earlier curdled in her gut as she saw that terrible, horrible smile. She felt Steven sit up beside her and waited with baited breath for her to decide they were both paying attention.

"So! Due to... unforeseen circumstances, the schedule for you two has changed quite a bit recently! I'm sure you'll be happy to hear we have far less time to test, now." Connie felt like something was wrong- she was still smiling. Trepidation turned to dread as she leaned in and bared her teeth at the camera in a snarl with the trappings of a grin. "You shouldn't be. I will have those results no matter what, and no matter how little time I have to get them. I wasn't going to do fusion experiments for a while yet, I wanted to have real data before I did so I could compare the two- but I've been informed I am only to get the most basic tests done."

Steven started to tremble beside Connie. She almost started herself- the look on Rutilated Quartz's face was downright terrifying, pulling her face into a mockery of friendliness that set some instinctual thing inside her to screaming.

"I don't care. I am going to get those results, and I don't care if I have to ruin you to do it. They'll glue you back together when I'm done, after all."

Connie could swear her laughter was coming from everywhere at once.

"Connie?" Steven whispered, voice trembling harder than his body.

"Y-yeah?" Connie realized she was trembling too.

"I'm really scared."

"So am I."

Rutilated Quartz finally pulled her focus back to them. "We do have a couple more individual tests to go through- failing Blue Moon by giving her incomplete data isn't an option, despite the time completing the last tests will take. Luckily, we can stack them. We only have endurance tests left now that we're trimming the program... however, I have a feeling I can... accelerate the process by running some repeats. The endurance tests are simple- how long can you last without food, water, air, sleep, and in extreme temperatures."

Connie and Steven looked at each other with horror in their eyes.

"Ah-ah, eyes on me! Like I said- we are stacking these, and we won't be telling anyone, alright? It'll be our little secret." She winked at them conspiratorially like she wasn't about to torture them. "These tests will last until you cannot go anymore, in which case you'll be allowed to rest for one hour before fusion tests can finally begin, aah! Aren't you excited?" She was like a schoolgirl at the prospect, bouncing up and down in glee. "I need both of you to be expending energy, so even though the weight durability tests would be the most efficient way to drain you, we'll be doing something a little easier instead. You remember the running test, yes yes? One of the only ones where you had anywhere close to comparable results?" Connie knew she couldn't compete with magic, with someone not even entirely the same species as her, but... ouch. "We'll be doing something similar. Give me a second to set it up, and then as usual, the test begins at the sound of the buzzer."

The wall finally switched to white.

A terrible rubber noise came from the other side of the room. Connie and Steven hurried to get their shoes on and prepare themselves for what was to come, standing pressed together and shaking. The ceiling was pulling down from its incredible height fast enough she had to jerk her head down and stare at her shoes or risk vomiting everything she had on them. Across from them, the wall was pulling away in much the same fashion. The walls to each side jerked towards them, and finally everything was silent in the long corridor they were left in. Barely taller than Connie, with walls she could touch both at once if she stretched, claustrophobia felt too small a word. On one end of the corridor, a toilet- the bed had disappeared. The other end was blank.

'ZZZZZZZZ!'

That wasn't a buzzer- that was the far wall lighting up with crackling arcs of electricity. And the floor was suddenly carrying them right towards it.

Connie ran. She didn't have any other choice. Relief and fear and bitterness pierced through her as she watched Steven overtake her, even though she knew he couldn't help it. Bitterness at Rutilated Quartz, too- she hadn't cared nearly as much before she started constantly pointing out the vast differences between them. It had sat in the base of her for a long time, the knowledge that she could never really catch up to Steven, but it was easy to swallow when she was surrounded by people proud of her for the enormous progress she had made too.

But now she's here, and now she can't help but see how weak she is in comparison to her best friend, and she hates hates hates that all she is is a damsel in distress here, to be put in the corner to scream while Steven was forced to bear things no one ever should. She could bear it. She could heal. Steven couldn't, and he took it anyway, and it made some small, unreasonable part of her bitter.

She hated feeling like this. She hated everything about this so much, she wanted to scream- beat on the walls and rage and cry and hit and- and she couldn't do anything about this awful place because she was _too weak_.

Tears blurred her vision and melted green into muddle as she forced more into her legs, felt them burn, saw the opposite wall get incrementally closer and felt something fierce swell in her chest. Something like- spite and fury and despair and something huge and horrible she couldn't name. Steven was wilting in front of her, panting and sweating as he forced his shorter legs to go faster and faster, and she realized she was sweating heavily too. As fast as they were pushing it, they had just started, why did she feel so hot-

Rutilated Quartz's voice echoed through her thoughts. "Extreme temperatures."

Oh no.

\--------

Sweat poured down his face in streams- something was wrong. They had worked this hard before, been pushed harder, but this- he was shaking, burning up. His gem almost hurt from how cool it was, how different it made the surrounding skin from the rest of him. He felt like he couldn't breathe through the thick heat, felt like up and down and left and right were passing him around like a card at a table. He was having trouble remembering how long ago they had started- it felt like forever ago now. Connie was by his side, had been for a while and he couldn't tell if he had slowed down or if Connie had sped up or if the floor was playing tricks on the both of them. Her warning about hyperthermia slithered through his brain, but it slipped right out of his sweaty fingers and he fought to keep his eyes open against the pounding in his head. He wanted to puke. He wanted to stop running. He wanted to fall asleep and wake up somewhere far, far away. Connie's burning fingers around his wrist was the only thing anchoring him, keeping him lucid enough to keep moving. Everything was so loud, everything was so bad, everything was so hot, Connie was shaking him, trying to pull him ahead but he was going as fast as he could-

Lightning arced through him, lanced white hot pain through him, red ate up his eyes, and darkness finally, finally took him away from the hurt.

\--------

Her tears sizzled- _sizzled_ \- on his red red skin. Her sobs echoed through the room. She was- she had thought, that time seemingly centuries ago, that she was going to be forced to watch her best friend be eviscerated in front of her. That her mentor would, under someone else's control, hold her down and make her helpless as Steven was torn in two in front of her. She had been kind of right, but she was close enough to wrong for a happy ending and she was _thankful_  that they had escaped without losing anything more than sleep.

Steven was dying again, and she still couldn't do a single thing to stop it.

There were noises behind her, maybe, but black nails on a white background and Steven laying helpless were the only things processing. Her hands shook and shivered over his skin without touching, felt the heat radiating from it like an old electric heater. She was hurt too, but not- not nearly as badly as Steven, who was helpless, who was not moving, who she couldn't save.

If she were more aware, she would have heard their tormentor tell them about the cold that was coming, about how she couldn't test the endurance of the unconscious, maybe notice the genuine disquiet in the wilting corners of her lips, despite her bared teeth.

But Connie was mourning, and she did not hear anything at all beyond White Diamond's loud and terrible voice.

\--------

Everything hurt _so. Much._

His skin was on fire. He felt like he was burning alive. The ceiling swam into view like a mirage, jagged swirls of bleeding colors coalescing into unbroken white. Someone was crying, and his heart tugged to comfort, but his body ached at the beating and he wished he could quiet his heart so it wouldn't hurt so much against his ribs.

It was a minute more before awareness really greeted him. Someone was crying, and he needed to know who.

His head pounded just to turn towards the sound. Relief and fondness and regret and determination and hopelessness and confusion all fought for space in his head at the sight of her, sobbing into her hands.

"C..." His throat wouldn't clear. He forced out his voice at a whisper. "...Connie? What's... wrong?"

She couldn't hear him. He wanted to reach out and comfort her so badly, but he was so quiet, and he couldn't move to touch her. "Connie..."

It felt like it took an hour just to reach out and brush her knee. His skin stuck and pulled to the floor as he dragged it millimeter by millimeter closer, and he could swear it was peeling right off like the skin of an orange. Her knee was cold under his fingertips, and he felt her jerk in surprise at the contact.

"Steven?! You're awake!!" She looked... terrified. There was relief and joy in there too, but he couldn't help but see the overwhelming terror in her eyes before the raw relief in her shaky smile.

"Yeah... what happened? Are you okay?" Her face crumpled like wet paper.

"Who _cares_ , you- you fell behind and I tried to save you but she wouldn't stop zapping you- I tried so hard but the floor was going so fast and you weren't responding and- Steven I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I let you get hurt and you- and you-"

"Stop it. Connie..." It hurt to croak out words through the fire in his throat but leaving her to think it was her fault would hurt so much more. "It's not your fault. You know that. It's not your fault when I get hurt, and it's not my fault when you get hurt. We... we talked about it, yeah? I promise... I know I can't convince you but I promise it's not your fault."

Tears fell renewed down the thick tear tracks on her cheeks. "Y-you're right. You can't convince me. But... but I'll... I'll drop it if you fuse with me so you can heal."

Steven wanted to refuse. He wanted desperately to save her from this, to refuse her and spare her the heat sickness pulsing and pounding and wreaking havoc through him, twisting his insides in vicious knots, but... but he had promised her. And he really, really wanted to heal.

He nodded, and guilt filled him up and came pouring out through his eyes at the relief and determination and the sliver of trepidation that were clear as crystal in Connie's eyes at his acquiescence. He prepared himself to sit up, to let Connie in, to-

'Ding!'

He hated that sound.

"We have one more test, and then you can fuse, I promise. Well, two more tests, but we're doing them at the same time, so I doubt it'll last long. This one, you don't even have to do anything. Your room tracks your vitals- all the obvious things, like how fast all the stuff inside you is moving, how much air you're circulating- things like that. For this test, I've taken the liberty of copying various data on what an unconscious human body sounds like from a... 'hospital'. This test isn't one you can really do anything about, and no reinforcement is involved." Her face was surprisingly neutral. "I will remove the air from the room, and I will return it when you 'black out'. The test starts on the buzzer." The screen vanished, and there wasn't a single beat before,

'zzt!'

He turned to Connie. Somehow, passing out wasn't something he was terribly opposed to. "See you soon?" The air was turning frigid around him. The walls stayed white.

She forced a smile onto her face as she laid down next to him. "See you soon." Her eyes were on the ceiling as she lay on her back.

Steven rolled onto his back too. He knew Connie would fight for consciousness, heard her starting to struggle and gasp, wished he could help her, but he was ready to rest.

Breathing was hard. Nothing was getting in. Something animal inside him, the part of the human brain that had trained for millions of years to keep him alive, was panicking hard, but it was just... easier to go to sleep. Cold like ice was burning his body. It faded too. Darkness held out a hand for him to take, and his own fit snugly in its palm.

\--------

He woke up... warm? Warm. Hurting, but warm.

Connie was wrapped around his front like a koala.

They were in the corner of the room- back to being immensely tall but even bigger in the other two directions than usual, and the bed had returned- with his back pressed up against the unnaturally smooth wall and his front guarded by the folded up form of his best friend. Her weight was a comfort, even as it hurt. He felt better than he did before at least- still terrible, but his head didn't feel like it was full of hammers and knives anymore.

But he was still more than ready to finally heal.

Connie's arms were firm around him. Her breath was soft and slow in his ear. He heard it grow deeper as she woke up at the feeling of his own arms coming to rest weakly on her back.

He loved her. He really did. She cared so much, and she was so brave, and she was so cool and strong and- and she loved him, for whatever reason, and he wasn't sure he'd have made it this far without her to fall back on, without her to spur him forward.

Connie's arms tightened around him as light softly swallowed the pair.

\--------

 

  
A figure in blue walked into the room without a sound, and idle conversation petered off into pensive silence as the gems around the long white table found their focus drawn to her. Her near transparent skin threw light at her feet strangely in the brightly lit room. Her pale blue hair swished behind her from where it was tied back in a neat and perfect ponytail. Her completely neutral expression weighed every gem in the room and they felt discomfort as they could not tell whether or not they were found wanting.

A single prudent voice broke the spell.

"Blue Moon Quartz. How goes it? Well, I trust? Recent schedule alterations haven't thrown you off course, I assume?"

Blue Moon Quartz's voice sounded like running your finger around the rim of a wet glass- it rang high and pure and melodic, smooth and entrancing. "Of course. Limited data is acceptable; the preliminary tests are largely unnecessary for our purposes. Collection cannot begin yet; why?" Her question, sharp and pointed, glanced off the answerer's skin.

"We are considering... a new course of action, one that- if successful- will leave us never wanting for Pink Diamond's essence again. As of right now, it is not a priority. We need to create and attach her setting first and foremost, no matter what that takes. If we can force her obedience... well. There is, apparently, an entire court revived after 6,000 years that cannot wait to return to her service."

"Clarify: I am to disregard collection and hasten setting process?"

"Correct. I trust you to do the best possible job- there is no one here more precise or more capable when it comes to this."

"I am aware. Rutilated Quartz will be given her remaining time for testing- physical tests, while not strictly necessary, will help create more specific calibrations. I am assuming, after all, that this setting will be somewhat permanent, considering her current organic nature."

"Of course, of course. As perceptive as ever. I would be a fool to demand anything of you when it comes to this, all things considered, so I will let you go with this- according to our insiders, the Diamonds are beginning to mount a response, and the Crystal Gems and Pink Diamond's court have already mobilized, ancient and shoddy as their current equipment is."

"Understood. I am not a miracle worker, but I will send out the order- top priority for everyone under me, regardless of other projects. This goes for me as well, obviously. As it is, assuming no complications, we should have her set and ready for recalibration in less than a week."

"Excellent work as always, Blue Moon. We shall see you soon."

Blue Moon Quartz left without another word, and chatter slowly leaked back into the room behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some comments from last time:  
> -Im trying to imply some things I clearly failed at, which is my bad; my goal in these scenes is to write things that Connie/Steven/Stevonnie may not quite get but the reader can. So yes, unclear things are unclear because of who the pov character is, but they shouldn't be incomprehensible unless its literally a dream or they're having a post-zap freakout. Thats my bad. Iolites, gems who can control wind, are the ones who control the ship when in atmosphere, and theyre the ones who snatched Steven and Connie.  
> -Connie can't self-heal, but she can be healed instantly by Steven, who can't heal himself. Again, if that didn't get across, its cause i wasnt clear enough  
> -Connie is just in a little better shape than steven, who can largely rely on his powers. its not that hes lazy, connies just really really determined to get stronger/faster/better, and stevens more focused on developing his powers and allies. shes a little hyperaware of the fact that shes the only crystal gem without a gem.  
> -i cant answer plot stuff like that! nice try, but youll just have to keep reading.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented, i sincerely appreciate it, even if you didnt have a question i answered! knowing what things are unclear or clumsy- and what things you liked- really does help!

Soft blue shimmered through shades and shadows- black cold slipped through eons and fury and landed on soft feet in the heart of a star. Oh, they were so hungry, poor little ones- what else could she have done?

"My Diamond, there you are!"

\--------

Stevonnie woke with a start.

"Oww..."

Their back ached from falling asleep against the hard ground, curled up awkwardly against the wall. And yet, it was the only real pain left in them. Standing and stretching, they tried to bend their back against the soreness and winced at its rebuttal. But they brought their fingers to their face and saw nothing but healthy, unburnt skin, and a deep sigh escaped them. "At least that's all taken care of..."

They looked around. White walls- farther away than usual, toilet- unchanged as ever, bed- should have dragged themself to it before passing out to let their body repair. The only thing missing was...

They sighed. There wasn't even anyone for them to talk to now besides _her_. It was a silly complaint, but- but they think than can excuse themself a little loneliness in a place like this, even with their technically being two people.

'Ding!'

Instead of panicking, they found themselves wondering why it took so long. Their wheel to face the screen was practically leisurely. They really did miss this- the surety that came from being made of two people who believed in each other more than anything.

"Well, you look to be in a good good mood! I'm glad, I'm glad, because we really do have to hurry with those tests now- I only have 40 hours left with you after all! We'll start shortly but this time I actually have a question of you- you'll get one in return, I assure you." They startled in surprise. "What..." Curiosity consumed the fusion as Rutilated Quartz rolled the question around in her mouth, like she was tasting to make sure it was ready. What on earth could she want from them? "...is your name?"

Oh.

"...Stevonnie."

She threw her head back and laughed. Not even just a laugh- a full bodied chortle that shook her whole body and echoed around the room. "Ste- Stevonnie?! That's adorable! Oh, humans are so quaint! Oh I'm gonna tell everyone, that's- Stevonnie! That's wonderful, wonderful! Stevonnie..." Her laughter trailed off into giggles as she stared at them like an adult looks a child who told them two plus two equals five, or that rain happens when the sun gets sad.

Stevonnie looked at them like someone who's name just got insulted looks at the person who insulted their name.

"Hey!! What's wrong with Stevonnie?!"

"Oh, nothing, nothing, it's just-" she burst into giggles again. "oh, it's nothing, I promise." She sighed deeply and Stevonnie watched, still annoyed and glaring up with their arms crossed over their chest. "...oh dear, I got a little distracted. 40 hours, yes. One question and then it's back to work- what shall it be?" A gnawing pit sat deep in their chest, all traces of humor and irritation swallowed by yawning dread. Their arms hung tense at their sides.

Back to testing.

"We haven't got all day- you won't get a question if you can't ask it you know."

There's so much- there's not enough- they need more time-

They blurted out something not entirely of their own volition before they even knew they were doing it.

"Why are you doing this?"

The question sat heavy in the dead air.

They could swear the emotional whiplash was giving them a headache, that the road of the conversation turning so sharply had thrown them against the side of the car. It was one thing they didn't like about being themself- Connie's fears and need to Know and Steven's empathy and need to Comfort combining into an emotional overawareness that sometimes ached it was so strong. They didn't know if it was a fusion thing or a them thing, but they knew that the emotions of those around them could sting, that they got stressed by others' stress more easily than Steven or Connie alone. And now, Rutilated Quartz's tension, the way she stared at them with shock and something huge and indefinable behind her eyes, it was burrowing through them like ants under their skin- they would be punished for this, they got h⬛⬛ _hurt_  by speaking without thinking, they messed up-

And like a thick black storm passing over without losing a single drop, the mood inexplicably washed away without a trace. Her face pulled back up into something vaguely amused, the tension fell from her shoulders like it was never there, and they could swear even the white white room had faded back to white from some undefined and threatening shade of grey. Confusion and distress pooled in the corners of their eyes before blinking away- what had just happened?

"Dear, you know it's nothing personal, yes? I'm sure you realize how I feel doesn't affect what the Shining Alliance does?"

"Wha-"

"Oh, sh-sh-sh-sh... it doesn't matter why, not yet. You'll know soon, I promise, alright dears?" A beat of silence passed between confused captive and confusing captor. "Alright then, see you soon!" And the room went blank.

"...What just happened?!" Their voice was peeling apart. Thoughts slid neatly back into two discrete columns, as feelings separated like hurricane condition winds, hot fronts and cold fronts dragging away from each other. Light spilled through their splitting skin(s)-

Yellow light split their spilling skin(s)-

Screams- a scream- screams- _a scream_  echoed through the room until panting, shaking, trembling, singular, they lay on the floor and burned.

Rutilated Quartz's voice was wrong. They didn't know why or how, just that it was. A glint of brown around their gem caught their eye, but they couldn't make anything out before her hand slid out of frame. "Sorry about that, I should have warned you earlier, but I didn't get the chance. Since we're doing exclusively fusion tests from now on, we won't be needing Connie and Steven until we're done. Now... we'll go through tests in basically the same order you went through them the first time alright? We start with running. It begins at the buzzer."

Fear choked up their voice, still wet and trembling with the aftershocks of what had just happened. They had been zapped for so long, they swore they could smell cooked meat. "W-wait, I can't- you can't, it hurts so bad, just give me- just give me a second _please_  I can't- I can't, I-"

"Sure you can. Connie can stand if she wants to save Steven, Steven can stand if he wants to save Connie, and Stevonnie can stand if you want to save yourself. On the buzzer's mark."

Tears hurt as they rolled down Stevonnie's face. She was right. She was right and they both knew it.

Their arms hurt to drag under themselves, and hurt more to push with. Their knees hurt to bend, and hurt more to stand with. Their palms stung when they used them to push off the ground. The world swam before their eyes as it pulsed and pounded against their raw skin, as it knocked them from side to side and they swayed like a blade of grass. They could swear even their eyes felt burned.

'zzt!'

Green at least hurt their eyes just that much less than the white. They picked up a foot and moved it forward and tried not cry as it landed and sent shocks of hurt through their whole body.

\--------

Stevonnie's healing powers were... strange.

Steven, as Connie bemoaned every time he got hurt, was, unfortunately, the only person his own healing powers wouldn't work on. Gems, humans, inanimate objects- but not himself.

It was deeply frustrating.

And yet Stevonnie... didn't have healing spit, and couldn't bring someone back to life, but they healed far faster than a normal human. Steven could slap his hand over a wound and watch as it sealed seamlessly shut, but Stevonnie could watch as a cut on their arm shrank but by bit through the course of the day to be as smooth as if it were never there by sunset.

But the weird part was how wounds equalized.

There was a time, so long ago it felt like a dream, and so recent she could remember what she'd had for breakfast that day, that Connie had misplaced a step and fallen down down down the temple cliff. She had skidded and rolled and landed safe at the bottom in Pearl's arms, but long, shallow cuts and scratches littered her battered form. The biggest, a gash where a rock had ripped straight through the fabric on the back of her shoulder and torn right into the muscle.

Pearl had raced her into the beach house so Steven could heal her, but Steven, bleeding fresh from his finger where he had cut himself in surprise with the knife he had been chopping vegetables with, took her from Pearl's arms and wrapped himself around her. He was remembering Amethyst's tumble, remembering how far the fall was, remembering how easy it would be to lose someone else like he had lost Lars. Neither of them really knew why it happened at that moment, but they knew the aftermath- Stevonnie, in torn clothes and looking baffled.

And later, Steven and Connie, with matching scars on their shoulders, and not even a scab elsewhere.

Stevonnie opened their eyes and wished desperately that they could heal themself the fast way.

Their skin had already healed back to normal- they had jogged as slow as Rutilated Quartz would allow and watched as through the long exercise the burns on their skin changed color. And yet it still felt like aftershocks were rattling around their system, like their heart was beating a 16th note out of sync.

Maybe it was because they had just gotten zapped.

They couldn't run forever, and Rutilated Quartz had gotten impatient, kept demanding they speed up- they shook their head free of the thought and tried to pull their focus back to the present. She would show up on screen in a second, and a new test would begin. Like she was summoned by the thought, her wide grin and mismatched eyes popped into focus in front of them.

"Jumping! This one is going to be a little different, since if you can jump any higher than Steven alone, I can't accommodate for that. Instead, we'll test how long you can stay in the air. I don't particularly care how, just try to stay up as long as you can. At the buzzer!"

'zzt!'

"WHOAH!"

They shot into the air as, not a millisecond after the buzzer finished, the floor lit up with threatening promise. In fact, the whole room seemed to crackle with painful potential. "Close one..." Distress was clear on their face. After a few seconds of mental debate and a glance at the overcharged floor, they started kicking up- they knew jumping as high and floating as slowly as possible would be the best option, but in their surprise they had only jumped halfway to the ceiling. Not an insignificant distance, but far closer to the floor than they needed to be. Kicking and flailing, they worked slowly upwards. "Kicking off the wall would be really helpful here..." A sharp pop startled them as the wall closest to them made an arc of lightning that nearly blinded them. They gulped.

Slowing to a near stationary float, they came to rest only a few feet away from the ceiling. Folding up their legs underneath them, they sat criss-cross on the air.

"I guess we wait..."

The room was filled with the crackling of the electrified walls, but they couldn't hear any other sounds. In the sudden dearth they found themself in, they couldn't help but retreat into their own thoughts.

It was mind-boggling how much things can change in short periods.

Images- feelings- settings- moments flashed through their mind- a sinking temple and its statue, childish excitement and the tearful realization that his simple mistake had doomed it, interposed with the impression of _huge_  and _many_  and _determined_  and the feeling of lava running through every part of them, warming up them and everything around them. The feeling of looking up into eyes of fire and fury and knowing she was _safe_ , knowing she would press on for them even as she sat cradled in a single enormous palm. Dread and despair in a pink bubble surrounded by glow and seawater, a gift given in the dark, interposed with a leap of faith that sent her soaring right into Blue Diamond's enraged face with nothing but a sword. Confusion and excitement and wonder and novelty and amazement and a little fear and a rave that dispersed them, laid under the pride and confidence and fierce determination as they were created in a second to dispatch holopearls like they were nothing to them.

They remember being alone. They remember being afraid. They remember being _them_ , and- and still being those, but like the same wound looking so much smaller on a grown tree than a sapling, they could handle it. Steven and Connie got overwhelmed but Stevonnie felt their love and stood back up.

Everything was so scary and so painful in the white white room, with gems that wanted to hurt them, in a situation they didn't have the slightest control over. But Stevonnie could do this. They could protect themself.

They could keep h⬛⬛ safe.

...Wait a second- the walls were what hurt them (they swore they could smell burnt hair if they thought about it), but up here, could they even be touched? With no floor beneath them, were they safe, at least for a little bit?

They bent down to hide their smirking face. It was such a small thing but this single nugget of knowledge, of control, filled them up like a spark igniting a bonfire. Hopelessness turned to determination as they fought to hold down the giggles threatening to spill out. There was always a way out, always something they could do. They had been so ready to despair, so prone to lose hope when they were alone, when they just had to watch each other hurt, but- but Stevonnie wasn't just Steven and Connie. They were Stevonnie, and the Shining Alliance wouldn't know what hit them.

\--------

"You remember the durability test, yes yes?"

Their stomach dropped.

"Oh don't look so distressed, I'm sure you'll do better this time. It won't even be very long! You did... annoyingly well on the running and floating tests, so where possible I'll be trimming fat from future tests. Less precise results, but faster. Weights will increase in mass significantly with each drop. Do be prepared. At the buzzer!"

The first time they did this test- the shock and terror of being filled with lightning for the first time, the horror and desperation of having to choose point blank between severely hurting himself or her- they swallowed their dread and threw up the strongest bubble they could.

'zzt!'

The huge white block was terrifying, coming at them so fast it seemed to eat up the green around it from their viewpoint looking up at it. They raised their forearms over their head on instinct and-

The weight made a near comical bouncing sound as it hit the bubble and slid off without a scratch.

...Huh.

The next scared a yelp out of them as it smashed a spiderweb crack the size of their face into their only protection. Terror was pulling harder on their mind- they knew they could do this, knew that even if they got hurt they could make it, but they were so, so scared the first time this happened and the past and present were bleeding into each other as the next weight bent the bubble down far enough for them to feel the weight on their palms as they pressed them to the top of the bubble. They next would shatter it, they knew it, they knew it-

Shards of pink launched across the room and vanished to nothingness in their trajectories and the weight of the world bore into their back.

Atlas, some flicker of recognition said in the back of their mind, but they paid it no heed. They didn't have room for it in their head. All their focus was on keeping the massive weight from crushing them as it bore into them, forcing them to one knee while it pressed up against their back and head while they tried to press it back with their hands. Straining and sweating, they heaved and it finally, thankfully tilted enough to slide away. It felt like every muscle in their arms was coming apart.

And still another was coming.

They could throw up a bubble and weather it- they could take the zapping but the weight would crush them-

They didn't have any time to think about it, any time to smooth it out. They tried, they really did try to hold it together but it was coming, it was coming so fast they had to MOVE/HOLD-

They snapped in clean halves and screaming filled the room till it was overflowing with the tortured sound. Steven reached out his (small, thick, pale) hand as Connie stretched out her own (small, thin, dark), tried to melt into Stevonnie again and go back to before, had to stop the hurt hurt hurt no matter what, but thrown apart they were a step removed and they were too far too far too far- nonononononoNO- IT HURT IT HURT IT HURT IT HURT IT HURT IT HURT IT HURTITHURTHITHURTITHURTITHURTITHURT-

Lighting leapt between their fingertips in the millisecond before they brushed and Stevonnie lay shaking in the white white room.

Their sobs echoed, seemed barely above a whisper in their ears in the void left behind by the all-consuming cacophony of seconds before. They really did smell burnt hair this time. There must have been a buzzer at some point, because the room was white and perfectly still. They couldn't figure out where the block that had triggered all that had gone, how it hadn't hit them, but they weren't thinking about it terribly hard. It was too difficult with sparks wreaking havoc in the wiring of their brain, struggling to breathe around a tongue that took up their whole mouth, around skin wrapped too tightly around their ribs and keeping them from letting out their lungs. Colors and shapes performed in front of them, trying to cheer them up, but they were too small and far away and could not reach out to sooth the fiery dragon swooping and lacing through their muscles and around their bones, so they closed their eyes to them.

They may have been a little delirious. The thought was eaten up by the dragon and they rolled their eyes back to watch him chew chew chew.

Chattering teeth and racing breaths and the shuffling of shivering cloth and skin distorted and changed course as Stevonnie failed to hear them. They heard clattering horse hooves and a shifting storm instead, and wondered who was coming- for them or for us. They shook and trembled and twitched on the floor and the white world laughed as it manhandled them, rolling their body between its huge and inevitable hands.

It would be a couple hours before they would stand, hunched in and aching, and take slow, stuttering steps to the bed. There, they would sit and shake themself to sleep, terrified of the realization that hope and determination could mean nothing if they made one mistake.

But before that, before they had a chance to heal the damage of the eon it felt like separated, they would lie there and shake.

\--------

'Ding!'

Stevonnie woke with a dream playing in their eyes- of pulling out a sword (the hilt flickering between a star and a rose), leaping up and stabbing the screen, of summoning their shield and battering their way out to race down the halls and out the airlock to jump down to earth, running to the warp pad and showing up at the house to be swept up in the hugs of their family, buried in a pile of love. Of going home to be held by Mom and Dad, hearing their worry melt away beneath relief and love.

'DING!'

They really wanted their- families.

They opened their eyes and sat up.

Blue and a monotone melody confused them.

"Stevonnie; Rutilated Quartz has been removed from the project. Your testing falls to me in her absence. Once you have eaten, we will begin; note that preliminary testing is over and parameters have changed significantly. You are to stay fused. As severely as she deviated from my explicit instructions, her data still holds, and you may be of more interest in this form than separated." She paused to stare at them completely neutrally. Her strikingly pale blue eyes seemed to see right through them; they couldn't stop looking at her semi-transparent skin in wonder at the strange way light played through it. The shifting blues of her neat ponytail caught their eye too. The opaque deep blue of her jumpsuit, decorated with a brighter blue loop like a crescent hugging her neck with its points against her shoulders, stood stark against the pale and strangely see-through shades of the rest of her. Stevonnie couldn't find their gem. "Eat." She stood and stared.

...Was she just going to watch them eat? Weird.

A familiar blue cafeteria tray sat to the left of them. It held just the same as before. They idly wondered, as their hands worked the plastic from the first sandwich and their eyes flicked back and forth between their disquieting observer and their meal, how eating worked in terms of Connie-Steven-Stevonnie. It sat in the back of their mind every time they ate- what they were made of, how they worked on a flesh-and-blood level, where the mass of Connie and Steven's bodies went (they had weighed themself and Steven and Connie had weighed themselves and Stevonnie just didn't account for their total mass). It was an idle thought, one they had to make themselves entertain, but they didn't think they could force themself to eat otherwise, with the way the gem onscreen curdled something in their stomach and made unease settle heavy inside of them.

Once they were done, they put the tray aside and stood, turning to fully face the strange blue gem onscreen. "Okay, I'm ready." The declaration sounded far more sure and prepared than they felt, but they didn't know what else to do. They didn't know anything about this new gem apparently replacing Rutilated Quartz or what the 'new parameters' would be. They at least found themself slightly calmed by the sliver of satisfaction they found in the perpetually neutral gem's face.

"Good. Your goal in this test is to defend or dodge- do not attempt to disable your opponent. The test begins and ends at the buzzer." And the screen was gone. That, at least, hadn't changed.

A black sphere slid smoothly out of the center of the floor and rose to the center of the huge room, looking imposing even as they realized it wasn't any bigger than a robonoid. They eyed it warily, waiting for something to happen, but it hovered perfectly still like a hole in the air for a frozen second. A yellow light began to glow within its center, lighting up brighter and brighter till it was a dark-edged beacon pointed straight at them.

'zzt!'

A streak of burning gold hit them right in the chest and they yelped as they skidded backwards across the ground. They saw through squinted eyes a white room- this new gem wasn't so keen on visual cues it seemed- and the orb heating up another beam as its core glowed a brighter and brighter yellow. They hopped sideways out of the next bolt and began circling the thing. The path they were taking was wide, basically as far away as they could get from the thing in the perfect center of the room. In a room so big, they had plenty of room to move. A comparison flicked through their mind, the quarter-mile track at their- Connie's school overlaying the path they were taking now, and they noticed the room was significantly bigger. Another bolt landed behind them, and a small smirk climbed their face. They could do this. After the running, after the zapping- a light jog, even a long one, where they got barely a smack on the wrist for slowing down instead of pumped full of lightning, was nothing.

The next bolt hit them.

"Yowch!" At the startle, they hopped into a real run. A little faster then. They watched as the orb lit up again, and realized it was tracking them- as light filled it completely, they jerked to a stop and tensed to get hit just in case they were wrong. The streak of light burst into the floor in front of them instead and they let out a breath as they realized what was going on. They just had to change speed at the last second to avoid it. They stood still and waited for it to finish powering and hopped up out of the way of the beam; they sat tensed in the air for the next one and dropped out of the way of that one too. This was fine! A little boring even.

Their next hop got them zapped and they tumbled back into the wall. "Hey-!" They dove sideways to get out of the next one. "How'd you-" It was speeding up. They turned back the way they came and ran that way instead. One missed, and the next they dropped to their knees and slid under. Every time they tried to get a rhythm going, they'd get zapped, no matter what they did. Their eyes went wide in realization. Was it- learning from them?

Maybe their rhythm wasn't big enough? Individual pieces- hop, dive, run, jump right, jump left- were easy to track but maybe by looping a combination of those they could fool it. Hop, hop right, drop, jump left, hop- so far so good- hop right, dr-

They fell to the floor with a hiss. Still too easy to track.

Nothing to it then. They couldn't cheat this, so they'd just have to go the long way and pay attention. They could keep mixing it up and not create a pattern no problem.

\--------

There was a problem.

They couldn't tell how long it had been- with only seconds between shots but each shot feeling like both a minute and a millisecond, they didn't have a chance of keeping track. But it was many shots later they were running out of options.

Big jump. Felt static trace their heels as it missed them by millimeters.

They didn't know how, but the thing was predicting them. Every move they had made before- even once- didn't work.

Peddled backwards in the air, took a shot to the chest and landed with a grunt on the wall behind them.

Their chest stung and pulled from the minor but repeated shocks. They grimaced in pain and frustration.

Launched. A bolt missed their takeoff, but their landing on the opposite wall was met with a shock to the back and a hiss.

They couldn't keep this up forever. They wished desperately for their shield, but the familiar and comforting defense was completely unavailable- it really was frustrating, even more than Steven alone felt on the hill forever and three days ago.

Prepared to drop but didn't, felt the heat and buzz of a shot too close for comfort but not close enough to hurt.

They knew- or at least thought they'd be safe from the walls if they weren't touching any of them.

They lost their footing in the air and dropped straight into a bolt. Stinging laced up their front and buzzed sharply beneath their skin.

It was so. Frustrating. They couldn't control anything- not what they did, not what they ate, not when they slept, not when or how much or if they hurt. Not even whether or not to be themself. They didn't know anything but a name and even the technology and abilities of their captors seemed incomprehensible to them.

Rolled left into a bolt, clenched their teeth so hard they could almost hear them creak.

They had tried so hard to keep calm. They had been so scared, and they were still scared, but with fear lurking deep and thick in them it was getting harder and harder to push back the anger that wanted to smother it.

Snarled at the black machine and braced their forearms.

They were so SICK OF THIS!

Yellow light splintered through their arms and they finally lost the cool they'd been hanging onto by a fingernail.

Maybe if they weren't so hungry, weren't so tired, weren't so stressed from forced fusion, they would have figured something out, weathered it until it was over. Maybe if they had had any sliver of understanding to work with, they wouldn't feel so volatile.

But they roared as they soared towards the orb instead, the yellow building in it only making them angrier. There was a single moment, quick as a camera flash, where Stevonnie floated suspended in the air, fist pulled back and eyes wild, teeth bared in a feral snarl. A split second where yellow light from the building charge lit up their face in a sickly mask of fury.

Stevonnie punched, and their fist burst through metal and wires like they were cardboard.

The room was silent for a moment. Stevonnie, panting in exertion and staring transfixed with eyes blown wide at what they had done in a moment of fury, floating gently on the air. The robot, black glass turned white by the thick mass of spiderweb cracks covering it as it sat destroyed around Stevonnie's arm, wires spat out around their fist.

A single, sharp 'ha!' pierced the fragile silence as a shaky grin climbed up their cheeks, and as if on cue, the ceiling smashed _down_  with a sound like nothing they'd ever heard before, louder than a jet engine. Stevonnie didn't know what happened, it was so _fast_ \- just that single massive sound and then the world pressing in on them with so much force they thought they were going to pop. Their skin ached where the walls were pressing into it, had slammed into it. They lay on their front, one arm stretched out in front of them and sheathed in the ruined machine and one crushed uncomfortably between their side and the wall, in a long corridor no wider than a dog crate. The comparison was uncomfortable. Not even able to wiggle, with the walls around them completely unyielding, an unfamiliar and irrepressible claustrophobia burst like a water balloon in them- but the fear just kept flowing, filling them up up up.

At the end of the corridor, the blue gem appeared on screen.

"I have no interest in hurting you for the sake of hurting you. But make no mistake- I will hurt you. You will obey the instructions you are given, or I will make your previous treatment by Rutilated Quartz seem like a paradise. I will not hurt you if you don't give me a reason- so don't give me a reason. This is your only warning."

The screen vanished and the constricting white walls around them burst to life.

Stevonnie screamed.

\--------

They woke up in the middle of the floor in a big, white room. They woke up in the middle of the floor in the white room, and it was big. They woke up and felt stinging skin stick to the white floor of the big room. They woke up and felt their aching skin catch and pull against the big floor of the white room. Everything hurt. Everything was hurting. They didn't remember what happened. They weren't sure why they were there.

Their skin was red, blistered in places. The yellow pustules were disgusting. They turned away from them, but the feeling of them against the floor made them want to peel them right off so they didn't have to deal with them.

Their muscles pulsed to a beat they couldn't place, syncopated and incorrect and too fast and too slow. Their breath staggered on the ins and outs, caught in the splintered stairway of their ragged throat. Their brain thrummed in its socket, testing the size and strength of its cage as it expanded and contracted and pushed against weak points.

They lay on the ground, wondering if any of this was worth it.

Pearl, teaching them how to hold and swing a sword. Mom, hugging them tight and telling them things would be better from now on. Garnet, doing anything to protect them and encourage them. Amethyst, trying her best to help them through the fallout of Pearl's revelation. Dad, making them breakfast and taking off work to care for her when she got sick. Dad, teaching them to sing and play the ukulele. Bismuth and Lapis and Peridot, the Diamonds, a court and a rebellion of gems needing guidance.

Of course it was worth it. It just... didn't really feel like it right then.

...They had been zapped for so long. Even when they thought it was over, it'd start up again once they were breathing right again. For so long. So long. So long.

...They would have to wait for someone to save them. They shied away from the exact thoughts, exact meanings, but. They couldn't do that again. They really, truly couldn't.

They cried, and wondered if they were ever going to run out of tears.

\--------

The blue gem didn't do the same type of tests as Rutilated Quartz, that much was for sure. Rutilated Quartz wanted- run until you succumb to pain. Float until you succumb to pain. Lift until you succumb to pain. The blue gem wanted- think better, think faster, think until you succumb to pain. What does this do to you. What does that do to you. What do you know. What can you do.

There was a metal spike in their arm.

Things got hazy around the edges sometimes with the blue gem- sometimes she wanted things and told them to hold still and then it was cold and then something was different. Sometimes nothing was different. Sometimes things were different but they couldn't tell why because thoughts slipped out of their fingers like water. There used to be something wrong, they think, but right then there was a metal spike in their arm the size of a nail, and they were staring at it.

It... hurt?

There was a light, a while ago, a light in blue and yellow and white. Things weren't the same after. The blue gem had said something, something about wearing off, something about limited testing until they got better, they think.

The nail stuck out quite a bit. A silver pole, like a tiny grey Pearl's spear, but smooth and in their arm.

It hurt, they were pretty sure, the sharp but bearable pulse of a shot but held to near infinity. They frowned. They didn't like shots. They were only okay because they were so short. This wasn't short. It hurt.

Their fingers slipped off of it- nothing they did managed to grip or shift it at all.

They pawed at it until (hours later) it popped smoothly out to clatter against the floor, leaving a tiny, near invisible discoloration against smooth and unblemished skin.

(The blue gem- did not frown, but a dissatisfaction rested imperceptibly in her strange pale face.)

\--------

One time, a light filled them, and instead of stripping thoughts and memories from them like stripping so much paint, or lacing their body with lichtenberg pain, they laid on their back and _knew_. Their muscles put down the phone and wouldn't even listen to their voicemails, but understanding in waves and petals of pink washed over them. Crystals danced in one of their infinite minds eyes- pink, leaking blue and yellow and black. No, that's the wrong blue. Yes, there we are. They couldn't even twitch, but the ceilings in layers above them made sure to stay back anyway, afraid of their secrets and spells.

They knew. They knew. They knew.

(She knew. He knew. They knew. She and she couldn't possibly. She couldn't possibly. It couldn't possibly.)

(Look what you did to yourself last time.)

Blue and yellow and black and pink. She could save him. He could save her. They didn't know what they were talking about, but they were content to let them.

\--------

"What is eighteen minus nine?"

"Nine."

"What is eleven times eleven?"

"Um, one hundred and twenty-one."

"If x minus two over x plus one is greater than or equal to zero, what is the set of all possible solutions?"

"..."

\--------

Their head was clear for now. A part of them wanted this test to last forever just to keep this coherency. But they had to try their best, no matter what, and the thought was swept aside like all the other useless longings that made their heart ache so badly for times and people they couldn't have. They wanted them so, so badly.

'zzt!'

They leapt into the air and missed the fist-sized black orb by a hair. It whizzed away, seeming mocking in their mind. They grit their teeth and leapt again. Bouncing from wall to wall like a 3D game of pinball, they chased the slippery thing, feeling the strain in their legs from constant overuse but pushing through to launch themself at their target once more.

Possible paths through the air, making guesses to where the orb would dodge, making plans- their task was difficult but at least they could _think_  about it, at least they could chase it fully aware of what they were doing and why.

An idea caught their eye, and on the next leap, they didn't even hold out their hands. They just got close enough to bubble themself with the orb trapped inside. It threw itself against the wall of the bubble like a particularly desperate fly against a window, but it had a similar effect. After a moment of fumbling, Stevonnie's hands were wrapped secure and firm around the slippery black thing.

'zzt!'

Their name was Stevonnie, a fusion of Steven and Connie, and they were waiting for their families. The thought was a rock at the base of them, surer and stronger than anything. If they could remember that, no matter what, they'd be okay.

\--------

Time slipped away from them in the white room. Tests (painful and confusing), tests (confusing and difficult), and tests (difficult and painful) took up most of their time, sleep awarded to them in intervals that meant nothing to them in a room that never changed. They ate sometimes (two PBnJs, two jellos, two juice boxes), drank sometimes (water bottles with no labels if they passed out from thirst), slept sometimes (dreamt strange and implacable things about strange and implacable gems). If they were doing none of those, they were testing.

Sometimes the blue gem would tell them to hold, and they stood tall and scared in the face of some new light filling them. Confusing them, hurting them, sometimes doing nothing at all. These ones were both the easiest and hardest- easy because they didn't need to do anything at all and hardest because they couldn't do a single thing about having their mind disassembled in front of them, memories smearing around in their head as blinding light washed them clean of coherency. It wasn't usually that one, but that one the worst, so they braced for it every time.

Sometimes the blue gem would ask questions. Logical ones (if one gem tells only the truth and the other only lies...), math ones (...solve for x.), history ones (how many colonies are in the Diamond Authority in total?), personal ones (how long have you two known each other for?). (Those ones they like the least, giving up their heart and hearts to someone so willing to hurt them.) They were okay with these tests- they wouldn't get hurt unless they flat out refused to answer, even though the math ones took ages to work through without pen and paper. (It was strange, to feel both ashamed and proud of their ability and inability all at once. They once nearly unfused before pulling themself back together over it- Connie trying to comfort Steven over his lack of schooling.)

Sometimes the blue gem would make them fight. These tests they could do without question, without thought.

Thoughts and reason were harder and harder to hold as light filled their mind again and again, but fighting- that stayed firm. That was reliable. That was easy.

(Something in them didn't want it to be, didn't like that it was, but it was burnt and shivering from punishment after punishment and its voice was too soft to hear.)

\--------

Ever since they- ever since Steven got... ever since what happened with White Diamond, their dreams had been closed off. Something had shifted, and their subconscious sat in a bubble, unable to brush the minds of others.

They had tried, when they first got home, and were perturbed but dealing with it when they failed to connect.

They sobbed quietly into their arms. They were no longer dealing. They were so alone in the white room where time stretched and folded like taffy and lights and tests twisted their mind like fingers in the clay of their brain and everything hurt all the time.

\--------

They had to survive. The alien smells and colors of a distant moon came to them, and there was a longing they had never felt before for the unwelcoming and strange place. They had had complete control there, complete isolation- it wasn't looking too bad compared to this. Shivering with cold instead of the aftershocks of lightning, sweating from heat instead of complete and all-consuming exhaustion, being hungry and thirsty but able to go out and find ways to satisfy themself, being tired and able to sleep whenever they wanted. Even the luxury of splashing around in a river and being something anywhere approaching clean.

They had to survive, but it wasn't something they could affect. They just had to weather.

They had to get out, too, but. They genuinely weren't sure if the blue gem wouldn't kill them for trying. Even on good days when they didn't get zapped at all, they could swear their heart was beating wrong from the aftershocks of destroying the test. They had nightmares about being pinned inbetween closing walls all the time now. They couldn't...

They punched through the orb like glass. They might be able get through the walls if they kept going long enough, but the thought was paralyzing. To try was- they just couldn't. They froze up and choked on aftershocks, and the walls would look to be approaching if they looked. They tried, over and over again, but the closest they could bring themself was a few feet from the wall before they chickened out.

They felt like a coward. They felt like a damsel in distress, like years of training and fighting and determination and work were being wasted with every second they failed to do anything to escape.

But that didn't make them less scared. Just angry at themself.

\--------

The blue gem told them what to do, and they did it. It would hurt. They still had to do it.

Their name was Stevonnie. Their name was Stevonnie, they were a fusion of Steven and Connie, and they had family- they had their families waiting for them if they could make it until they were saved. Lights tried to take so much from them, but they needed to hold onto these, no matter what. In the moments of clarity they were afforded, they repeated them like a mantra, trying to bind them tight to the version of them blinded to anything but fighting and dreams.

It had worked so far. They could hold. They had to hold.

\--------

"Hold still. You have reacted better than we could have possibly hoped to priming. Your reward is in order."

They noticed a chill in the air.

\--------

 

"The new setting fits acceptably, but not ideally or permanently. I recommend we continue with the creation of the tungsten setting as Pink Diamond adjusts." Blue Moon Quartz's voice washed over the room like wind chimes on the breeze of a dark and solemn autumn night. "I am sure we can find a way around the fusion's self-healing capabilities."

At the head of the table, a smiling gem replied. "We would also recommend that, as it were. Permission fully granted, so long as your experiments don't startle her too badly. It's a shame that, despite every other benefit of setting the fusion instead of Pink Diamond alone, the actual setting poses a greater challenge. What about the underling you had on her project before her little... outburst?"

Blue Moon Quartz didn't show the slightest hint of so much as mild frustration. Why would she? Pink Diamond had still been set within the week, after all. "Rutilated Quartz was reset with rose gold, and has not yet reformed. This is a temporary punishment, but her more volatile inclinations have been an inconvenience for a while now, and she may remain with rose gold indefinitely. We will see how she behaves on a tighter leash. Her data, however, was no less valuable for her reckless methods, so if this setting dampens her too much she'll be put back in copper and just be placed under tighter watch. I already have a Pearl in mind."

The head of the table nodded and continued smiling placidly. "It seems you have everything well in hand, as usual. Anything we should be warned about ahead of time? With all the new variables setting a fusion of Pink Diamond and a human brings, I'm sure there will be more than a few surprises in the coming days."

"Since white gold and rose gold in combination can be... draining to the set gem, do not expect too much of her. I am aware we are on a short timeline getting shorter, but the dampening of both her physical capabilities and natural abilities, especially when she has a physical, organic form that relies partly on her gem to support it, will put her under a large energy burden, one that we cannot fully compensate for. Over time, her body may adjust to it, but for now, do not be surprised if she spends half of each day unconscious. As well, while white gold dampens... emotional spillage, Pink Diamond is still a Diamond. Her Pearl will be monitoring her to track any empathetic outbursts, because they still may happen. Beyond that..." Her eyes flicked one by one through the gems seated at the table, taking stock of the trepidation, excitement, and buzzing tension in the room. "She is trapped in a fusion she cannot leave. While this may make her easier to manipulate and easier to sway, it also makes her unpredictable. We cannot rely on manipulation through emotion and reason alone. She is inherently uncontrollable until the more direct setting is installed. Forcing her cooperation could have disastrous consequences."

The gem at the head smiled a little wider, something both sinister and sincere. "That is why she will have my full attention until she's reset." A burst of surprised murmuring rippled through the room before fading into silence. Blue Moon Quartz looked at the gem across from her with something calculating in her alien gaze.

"Than I'm sure we will have nothing to worry about. After all, this is what you do best, and no one does it better."

The smiling gem grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god i love writing stevonnie, they're my favorite character. I was really excited to do this chapter, partly cause i like Stevonnie and writing Stevonnie a whole lot, and partly because finally,,,, i get to the Meat Of The Thing. we're gonna introduce the Shining Alliance next time!
> 
> Comments and Constructive Criticism are appreciated!
> 
> (also, the dreams and stuff are Foreshadowing, so keep an eye out in later chapters for Connections :3c)


	3. Chapter 3

Cast back through the vast fast, endless emptiness expends and exudes entropy. Pink birthed to white, blue birthed to pink, blue death of every color it can gets its molten hands on. A star-shaped prism prison, a ship sailing on the cosmic winds of effigy.

 

"Pearl?"

 

\--------

 

Everything was pink.

 

They were in a pink room. It wasn't very big. There were two doors- a big white one in the middle of the wall facing them, and a small pink one on the side farthest from them. They were on a bed- dark, smooth wood that felt cool as they slid their fingers over the big headboard. The sheets and pillows were white, but a deep pink blanket rested over top of them.

 

This wasn't familiar at all.

 

Nothing was?

 

Their name was Stevonnie. That, they knew for sure. But everything else- how they got here, what they were doing before now... gone without a trace.

 

Their name was Stevonnie, and they needed to figure out what was going on.

 

They sat up and swung their legs off the bed, then stood up in one smooth motion. They were surprised, briefly, but the feeling slid away like water when they tried to figure out why and they were left just in the dark as before.

 

The white door slid open with a quiet scraping sound. Their head jerked up to see a Pearl with light green skin, looking just as surprised to see them as they were to see her.

 

"A-ah! You're awake! I'm sorry my Diamond-" they flinched at the title but didn't know why- "-I should have been here when you woke up but I didn't think you'd be awake so soon- my sincerest apologies!" She bowed so low Stevonnie could swear her nose brushed the floor before tipping back up like a toy bird. She really did look apologetic, her deep green eyes wide and watery. Her left arm was clapped over her right shoulder, or- where her shoulder would be, if she had had a right arm. Stevonnie saw a deep, deep green gleam through her fingers. Their eyes widened a little in surprise. Finally, they broke the incredibly awkward silence choking the room.

 

"Who- who are you?"

 

The other looked a little taken aback at the question. "I'm- Olive Pearl, uh, if that's what you mean, but I've been assigned to you if you mean who I represent. I'm here to help! It's a great honor to be assigned to you, my Diamond, so I'll do my best to prove myself! Not that I wouldn't give it my all if I were assigned to someone else I mean-" Her rambling stopped in its tracks as Stevonnie held up a hand and shook their head.

 

"Please don't- please don't call me that. Your- Diamond. My name's Stevonnie."

 

Olive Pearl's short green mess of curls bounced as she tilted her head at them. "Alright my... Stevonnie?" Discomfort curled in their gut but they let the subject drop.

 

"Why don't I remember anything?"

 

Olive Pearl looked… uncomfortably sad for a second, like she was seeing a stranger cry. She opened her mouth, closed it again, and continue to look like a fish at a funeral for a minute more. Stevonnie watched her with worry, but to the opportunity to examine the stranger. She was wearing white-trimmed black ballet slippers. She had a small, transparent white frill around the top of her dark green pants. Her single white shoulder puff wobbled nearly comically whenever her arm moved too severely. Stevonnie noticed that her gem wasn't perfectly round- its surface was warped and its shape was slightly crooked. It was also wrapped in a ring of gold where it met her skin. Eventually, she chose something to say. “Why don’t we just wait for Chrysoprase and she can explain everything.

 

"I... guess?" It’s not like they had options, here. "When is Chrysoprase gonna get here?"

 

"Soon! Soon. I'll check-" Her arm moving to her gem to bring something out was interrupted by the opening door. Stevonnie caught a glimpse of black walls beyond before it closed.

 

"Did you have a good rest dear?"

 

"I- yes." They looked surprised at their own admission. They- they had slept well, they felt fine, but that wasn't what they meant to say at all. They had so many questions...

 

The green gem chuckled. Her skin was the color of mint, with rolling waves of glossy hair in shades of evergreen. A square gem oriented like a kite sat over where her heart would be, a brilliant, nearly neon shade of green. Her warm eyes were the same shade. Her gem was encased in a band of intricately carved silver. Stevonnie couldn't tell if it was her skin or gloves and socks, but her hands and feet were white, fading into the rest of her skin as they went up her limbs. Black flats and a deep, deep green pencil skirt stood out sharply against her pale colors; her white top and dark skirt had layers of ascending shades of green between them to make a garment that Stevonnie couldn't place between shirt-and-skirt-with-belt or just a layered dress.

 

She had a very striking presence for such a small gem- she couldn't be any taller than... than...

 

They found themselves suddenly very confused. Who were they thinking of?

 

"Dear?"

 

They snapped out of themself. "Uh- yeah?"

 

She smiled warmly at them. "I'm sure you're confused right now but trust me, I can explain everything."

 

They would like that a lot. Relief warmed them. Olive Pearl stood off to the side, expression neutral but unwary as she watched. The green gem- Chrysoprase maybe?- walked closer in mincing steps that were nearly cute, patting their thigh until they sat back down. She hopped up to sit next to them, not quite touching but almost.

 

"My name is Chrysoprase, and I'm here to help. I know things are probably very strange right now, but I promise- you're safe now, and you'll be safe as long as you're with me."

 

Stevonnie was pulled in by her words.

 

"Your name is Stevonnie, though you have Pink Diamond's gem. You are the child of Pink Diamond and a human, and your nature as both a human and a gem is a strange one. One that not many understand." A shadow of something pensive, wary fell over her soft features. "Do you... how much do you remember, dear?"

 

"Nothing but my name," they answered honestly, gaze wide. Chrysoprase sighed.

 

"That's... honestly for the better. Dear..." She stared down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers. Worry and regret clouded her kind features, and trepidation was heavy in her soft tone. "You had... an accident. A bad accident. You weren't..." Stevonnie waited with baited breath, confusion and worry on their face. "...you weren't okay, to put it simply. You got hurt so badly, it was like you were a different person, like you weren't seeing the world as it was- you were just seeing enemies and feeling hurt. Tell me... what you remember about the Diamond Authority."

 

Stevonnie became suddenly aware of a hole in their head. It was like- everything was still dark, but suddenly they knew the shape of a missing piece- they could feel the edges of the space where their memory should be, instead of fumbling blindly in a space where even the walls were unknown to them. The Diamond Authority...

 

An impossible threat- White. A familiar hostility- Yellow. A twisted and furious and incorrect grief- Blue. A resigned and hopeful and resentful neutrality.

 

And a huge Pink _something_ at the base of them, taking up far more room than any of the others, so big and yet so small.

 

(They didn't notice their hand move to hover over their gem.)

 

But these strange and nebulous concepts were hard to grasp, the feelings that made them slipping out of their fingers when they tried to catch them to speak them. So they said only, "Something about white, yellow, blue, and pink? All I remember are colors..."

 

Chrysoprase smiled wryly and patted their thigh. "Well, they're very relevant colors, if it makes you feel any better. But right now all you need to know is that you were fighting them, with us, and you were hit with a prototype weapon, a cruelty they thought ready to test on their enemies." Stevonnie felt nearly comforted by the dark look that fell over her face, the anger she clearly felt on their behalf. "You were... corrupted. Not in the traditional sense, due to your organic nature, but corrupted nonetheless."

 

They felt like the wind had been knocked out of them. "Corrupted?! Everyone must have been terrified, did I hurt anyone?! I didn't even think... I... could be..." They trailed off, words going soft as they realized they had no idea what they were talking about, panic dropping into disorientation. "...Who would have been scared? What's- I think I know what corruption is but I'm not sure. Turning into- monsters-" A faint note rang once, deep within them, quiet but true. "...a rip in the fabric of their minds." A shudder ran through them at the thought, of a heavy and invisible impression of _loss_ on a scale they couldn't really comprehend. "It's... it's really bad. And I was...-" The next word froze in their throat, and they held their mouth poised to make a sound that wasn't coming as fear and confusion etched themselves into their face. Chrysoprase looked on in pity and worry and resignment for a silent fermata before speaking, voice soft and soothing.

 

"Yes, dear. I'm sorry, I really am." She patted their back, then rubbed slow circles on it as, without their permission, they started to cry.

 

Fat tears rolled down their ruddy cheeks, and they took great shuddering breaths of clinical air, painfully and implacably familiar in a way that just had them sobbing harder. They didn't even really know why they were crying, but the great yawning void where that knowledge should be only spurred them on more- despairing at the vast and unknowable shape of it. Chrysoprase tutted and shushed and stood on the bed so she could hold their head against her shoulder, rocking back and forth as she wrapped them gently in her small, soft arms. They felt their arms come up to loosely cradle her back almost without their permission, and held tight to the smooth, cool material of her clothes.

 

"Let it all out dear, it's okay, you're okay. It'll all be okay, I promise. Oh, sh-sh-sh-shhhh..." Her hand stroked softly over their hair in slow, rhythmic motions while her other stayed light and still on their back.

 

What else could they do but cry? They didn't know why, they didn't know anything. But they knew that no matter what they tried to do, no matter how many heaving gasps they took, no matter how many tears poured out of them in blurry rivulets, it wasn't enough. There were just... more. The weight of a tragedy they couldn't see and couldn't name was heavy on their back, and it was crushing the tears out of them till there were none left- and they weren't sure they would ever run out.

 

But even amnesiac half-Diamonds can't cry forever. Through rocking and shushing and humming and soothing, Chrysoprase came to hold a silent, dry-eyed Stevonnie. With a deep sigh, she pulled back, her hands on their shoulders as she looked over their blood-shot, tear tracked visage. Stevonnie felt too ashamed and drained to look at the pity in her face, and focused instead on the big, gross, wet patch of tear-stain covering her shoulder, sure to reach down her back as well. They pulled their hands into their lap and fiddled with their thumbs to stifle the instinct to reach out and trace it, try to wipe it away somehow.

 

"I want you to know I'll always be here for you." Waveringly, their still blurred vision came to fall upon the soft, warm smile playing on Chrysoprase's dark green lips. "I know everything is so, so strange and scary right now, and things might be confusing and overwhelming for a long time to come, but I'll always be here to help." Stevonnie's gaze fell away from her face, unable to look directly at the great, strange kindness being offered to them. Her hand cupped their chin gently to bring their gaze back to her. "I want to help you, dear. I know you don't remember much right now, but I want you to remember this. If you ever have questions, if you ever have fears, if you ever need help, you can come to me, and I'll be there." Stevonnie felt themself drawn to her warm, kind gaze, her green, green eyes. "Can you promise to remember that for me?"

 

Stevonnie swallowed, throat still choked from the crying, but they forced the words out anyway, soft but sincere. "Yeah. I promise." That warmth- a certainty that they'd be okay, a gratefulness for something precious given, a calm they hadn't had since waking up- since essentially ever- flowed through them. They smiled at her, splotchy and lopsided but bright, and Chrysoprase giggled as she pulled back into them for another hug, this one firmer and grounding.

 

"I'm so happy! And I-" wetness crept into her voice as she held them tighter, "-I'm just, so happy you're back! Oh, dear, when you were still- when you were still corrupted, when we were still trying to figure out how to fix you- you were so angry, and so scared, and you didn't recognize anyone, and you fought back against every attempt to help- I'm just... Oh Stevonnie, I'm just so glad you're back!" A single sharp sob burst out of her, and something sharp and foreboding tore through them to land painfully in their gut.

 

Back?

 

Their train of thought scattered away with Chrysoprase as she suddenly scrambled off them and the bed to stand in front of them, patting down the front of her perfectly smooth dress in what looked quite a bit like a nervous fidget. "Oh dear, I'm sorry for that- I know you probably don't remember me yet, and it's entirely possible you never will. I shouldn't be putting my hopes on your shoulders when the only thing you need to focus on right now is recovering. I'm sorry Stevonnie," she said with a tiny bow, face contrite, "let me finish explanations so you can get to your ablutions. So, first order of business- your setting." She motioned to their belly, and their gaze followed her gesture on instinct.

 

Gold was wrapped around them.

 

"Wha..." They felt the edge of the smooth, cool metal encircling their gem with their fingers, then traced the edge where it pulled out to stretch around them like a belt. They twisted to look behind them, and saw completely unbroken metal, shining and a hands-breadth tall, but surprisingly thin, half as wide as their pinkie. It pressed cold against them as they twisted, suddenly incredibly stark against their skin. How had they not noticed before? An intricate, petal-like flare pattern decorated their gem in shades of white gold and rose gold, but the belt around them was flat and unblemished, a more familiar shade of yellow gold. The way the petals overlapped their gem made it look even more like a flower- even as they grew uncomfortable at the prospect of something they couldn't remove, they noticed how pretty it was in all its careful intricacy.

 

"How much do you remember about settings?" Chrysoprase's voice pulled them back to reality. They rolled the word around in their head, tried to find the edges like there had been for the Diamond Authority- but there was nothing at all, not even a vague shadow or indiscernible whisper.

 

They shook their head disappointedly and confusedly.

 

She chuckled softly. "Well, that's not terribly surprising- they're quite common here, but not so much anywhere else. And you've never had one before." Her hand drifted up to trace a single finger along the edge of her kite-shaped gem. A sudden pang of terror shot through them like a lightning bolt, but like before, it faded just as fast, leaving them disquieted. "A setting is an enhancement for gems, one that has many benefits and very few drawbacks. It's technically experimental, but only in the sense that improvements are still being made- and isn't that true of all technology?" Her demeanor suddenly shifted to a more serious one as she caught her vaguely rueful train of thought. "I'm getting off-track. It's a band of metal wrapped around the gem, filled with things that... adjust various things about a gem. Think of it as a... fine-tuning machine. Gems have innate abilities and strengths, but a setting makes them more then that- it makes them natural. It brings hidden powers and abilities to light. It brings out strength from shadow." She smiled ruefully. "You've never had one before, of course, because you're at least partly organic. Whereas all other settings are held in place by the gem's form, we couldn't dissipate you to install yours and just wait for you to reform. That's why your setting is more of a belt- the only other way to set you would be- well. We don't need to talk about what-ifs right now. Point being- your setting is different from everyone else's, not just because of its shape."

 

She beckoned Olive Pearl over, and with a quiet "Oh! Me?" she came trotting over to stand poised and curious by Chrysoprase's side. Stevonnie felt a pang of embarrassment at the realization that she had been there for their whole breakdown, but they shoved it aside.

 

Chrysoprase trailed a finger along Olive Pearl's gold setting. "A Pearl's setting is meant to help them focus, first and foremost." She pulled her hand back to trace her own silver lining. "Mine helps me keep calm in stressful situations and strengthens my empathy." Her hand came out as if she were tracing the petals of Stevonnie's setting across the empty air between them. "Yours... grounds you." She took a deep breath, and Stevonnie found it strange for reasons they couldn't place. Regret and... loss fell over her face. "Yours... keeps you whole. The corruption weapon works by infesting and overriding a gems' memory. And were you fully gem, we could simply reload a previous state saved in your setting. But you are as much human as you are gem, and your memories aren't so neatly stored and recorded. We didn't even have a basic backup of your original state to go off of, since you didn't have a setting before the attack. We..." A single tear slid down her face, and Stevonnie reached out on instinct, their hand hovering uncertainly in the air. "We had no choice. Your memories were irrevocably corrupted, and the only way to help you- the only way to save you- was to suppress them entirely."

 

Stevonnie's hand dropped, laying limp at their side. Their eyes were wide as they fumbled to process what that meant for them. "You can't get them back. Not because it's not possible, but because if you ever do, you won't be the same person ever again. There's a chance things will trickle up- that over time the corruption will dry up and crumble away- but even if it does, your old memories won't be the same as they were before."

 

She minced closer, hands coming up to cradle their cheeks. "I'm sorry, Stevonnie. I know this is difficult, but... I promise that, even if you never remember a single thing, we will always have a place for you, and we'll keep you safe so you can build new memories." A tiny smile curled up on her lips, a seed of hope even as tears washed softly and silently down her green face. "Alright?"

 

Stevonnie could only nod gently.

 

"Now- I'll give you time to think things over and get yourself cleaned up. It's been a long time since you've had a proper shower, and... well, I don't mean to be rude dear, but- I can tell." She giggled, a teasing look on her face even with prominent tear tracks and eyes still gently leaking. Stevonnie curled their head into their shoulder and almost recoiled at the smell- how had they not noticed?! Chrysoprase saw the look of disgust on their face and laughed more sincerely, eyes wet but no longer dripping. "Olive Pearl here-" she clapped the gem's shoulder as she said it, "-is assigned to you for the time being, to show you around and help you with anything you might need. Don't hesitate to ask her things. She can call me if you want to see me again, and I'll come by as soon as I have a free moment. I'm fairly busy, so I'm not available as often as I'd like, but I promise, I'll find time for you when I can. Now!" She gestured over to the small pink door across the room. "The ablution chamber is behind that door. I have to go, but I promise I'll see you soon. Goodbye dear!" And with a wave and a bright smile, the white door slid smoothly shut behind her.

 

Stevonnie took a breath as discomfort washed over them and then away as quickly as it had come.

 

They were... safe. They were safe. That was important, that they were safe. They were still confused, and scared, and a little- _something_ they couldn't name, a knot of negative emotions and discomfort and restlessness that wriggled and writhed beneath the more tangible and immediate emotions of their surface. It stirred their waters, unable to be identified through the ripples, disfiguring every emotion within them it touched-

 

But they took a deep breath. Obviously they were uncomfortable, they had amnesia and had recently been corrupted. It was okay. Just... let it be. Let it fly away.

 

...Fly away?

 

But the reasoning for the strange phrasing that had come naturally to them was as opaque as any other flash feeling.

 

They opened their eyes- when had they closed them?- to Olive Pearl standing far, far too close.

 

"Waagh!" They flailed comically as they tipped back, scooting farther onto the bed in a quick bid for distance. The openly inquisitive look on the green gem's face changed quickly to startlement as she jumped back in turn, a small 'eep!' punctuating her quick bounce. But as she landed, her footing failed her, and with a shout, she ended up on her rear.

 

The two gems stared at each other for a second, both trying to process what had happened. Stevonnie broke the silence first, disquieted but firm. "Uh- please don't do that again." Uncomfortable nerves read clear on their face. "Are you- are you okay?"

 

Olive Pearl stumbled over her words. "I- um, I'm fine, my Di- I mean, my Stevonnie. Um, sorry about that. It's just-" her face lit up and her whole demeanor changed in an instant, "-are you really half organic?! What does that even feel like, how did it happen, is it- do you still have like, all those fluids and fluid-sacks, can you even dissipate?!" She pulled herself up as she talked, curling her legs under herself in bouncing up in a way that left Stevonnie baffled as to the physics of the move. "Chrysoprase said you needed special care but- never in a billion hectocycles would I have guessed it was 'cause you're organic! Or- part organic? I have no idea!" She bounced in front of the bed, sparkles in her eyes as she looked at them like a whole new world was unfurled before her, strange and just waiting to be known.

 

Stevonnie slowly shifted their legs under themself, sitting on their knees in front of the strange and over-curious Pearl. "Um... I-I think I have... fluids, I guess, I don't- I don't know anything!" Olive Pearl flinched back and wilted at the sharp outburst, and Stevonnie immediately felt guilty. "I'm sorry, I just- I really don't know anything. All I know about anything is what Chrysoprase told me. I can't answer your questions, you should just ask her." Their tone was slow and soft, unhappy. The fact that Chrysoprase knew more about them than they did really was unsettling.

 

Olive Pearl traced the shape of their setting with her eyes. "It's okay, I'm sorry for getting in your face. I just got- a little over-excited. But... I'm sure you know all sorts of things! Even if you don't remember them right now, I'm sure you'll remember once I take you on that tour." A slight forced smile pulled up the corners of her mouth. A glow beamed from her gem as she held her hand below the light and with the softest rustle of fabric a stack of neatly folded clothes was balanced gently in her hand. She offered them up to Stevonnie, who took them as she began to speak again. "Like Chrysoprase said- the ablution room is over there, and here are your new clothes. I'll be outside the door, don't hesitate to call if you need me." And speech done, she stood aside and closed her eyes, hand clasped against her gem, clearly done for now.

 

Stevonnie looked at her strangely before standing up again, this time more aware of the cool, smooth feeling of the floor beneath their bare feet.

 

Wherever they were, cool and smooth seemed to be a running theme. Everything from the walls to Chrysoprase was polished and sleek.

 

The floor, a dark and desaturated pink. The walls and ceiling, pastel and gentle. The rich brown and bright pink of the bed were the brightest things in the room, though the pink door was just a softer shade of the bright blanket. They approached the door in question with slowing steps; how did it open? They saw no seams or keypads or handles- but as their fingers brushed it, it pulled quietly up into the ceiling to allow them into the smaller room beyond.

 

They stepped into a room made entirely of a pink so deep it was near black. The bright white diamond-shaped lights embedded in the ceiling made the white furnishings in the room nearly glow, but the walls seemed to swallow the bright light whole. It was an odd effect, to be sure. They placed the stack of clothes on the white countertop as the door slid shut behind them. The counter was long and seamless, with a large sink in the middle of it with a strange series of pink faucets curling over it. A mental image of an instrument made of reeds flicked through their mind. Circular buttons in a lighter pink lined both sides of the sink, probably to control the faucets. A grand and gleaming mirror sat over the counter. Next to but a small ways away from the sink, a toilet sat.

 

Across from the door they walked in through, another door interrupted the dark walls. This one was nearly completely clear, but for the curli-q warping of the white-tinted glass. They walked over, taking note of the long but somewhat narrow bathroom- or, ablution room- as they made their way to the new door.

 

But the mirror caught their eye. Or rather- they caught their own.

 

Hair- black and tangled, a thick shoulder-length knot with no discernable shape. Skin- nearly slick with grease and grime. Face- faintly but undoubtedly familiar, to their great relief, though they weren't sure how they felt about the patchy, half-inch-long stubble. Eyes- bright, glowing pink.

 

They took a shocked step back.

 

Was that- new? Why did that surprise them so much? Why did it _scare_ them so much? They stepped forward again, and then closer yet to lean into the mirror and examine their own fluorescent gaze from inches away. Round, black, normal pupils, normal white scleras, abnormal pink irises.

 

That... must've been new.

 

Maybe an effect of the corruption?

 

With a shudder, they decided to deal with it later. Setting- beautiful and strange and worrisome as the first time they saw it. It was the cleanest thing about them. Gem- pink and... was it glowing a little bit? They'd have to see it in a dark place to see for sure. Clothes- layered and too small and _filthy_. That must've been weird- it had to be, right? The red t-shirt and jean shorts were objectively too small for them, as was the brown jacket clinging tight to their arms. But they felt familiar too. Was this what they always wore? And why were they in such sad states?

 

Stench- unbearable. Paying more attention to themself really only made it more obvious. Self-examination could continue when they were clean.

 

They completed their trek towards the glass door in long, hasty strides. They touched it, but it did not retreat. Instead, it gave. They pushed it open the rest of the way into another dark room, this one a perfect cube, save for the floor- a deep indent like a bowl. It's dim white glow was the only light in the room save for what filtered through the glass swirls of the door swinging silently shut behind them. The side of the bowl closest to them had a series of buttons lining it like the sink; on further inspection, that side of the bowl had clean holes cut right out of it, almost certainly pipes of the same sort as in the sink. They knelt down and went to press one of the buttons experimentally, but the lightest brush was enough to set the button aglow and send pink tinted, bubbly water rushing into the basin. Reaching in, they dragged their hand through the warm water- the perfect temperature. They noticed a sweet smell blossoming in the air.

 

They could not _wait_ to get clean.

 

\--------

 

Standing there in clean clothes, Stevonnie watched fat tears roll down their face with a detached sort of wonder. Clean and pink and white and brown and black, they toyed with the snow white ribbon in their hands as the nearly recognizable face in the mirror stared back with wide, curious, waterfall eyes. Their hair had remained unbothered by even the most delicate finger combing, and sat in a wild halo around their head. They wore a long-sleeved shirt in a delicate shade of pastel pink, its bottom about at the bottom of their ribs, showing off their shiny golden setting and the picturesque shape of their gem in the flower. The sleeves ended at their wrists in a ring of half-circles, like the petals of a cartoon flower. Their long pants were a much darker shade, but still vibrant. Strange boots covered the bottoms of the pant legs, their tops the same pattern as their sleeves. They were white, with no discernable soles, though they were warm and solid. And in their hands, they held a ribbon- probably meant for their hair, though they couldn't use it right then.

 

All dressed and clean in pink and white, eyes wide and unfocused and strange, gem put on display, hair ragged and stubble uneven like a child had tried to groom them, they couldn't help but think of a toy doll.

 

They stood for minutes more, tracing their form and trying to feel familiarity as their tears dried to a trickle and then stopped entirely. Eventually though, casting a glance back at the pile of filthy clothes they were leaving on the floor, they walked back out into the pink room.

 

Olive Pearl stood the the side, and they watched as her eyes flicked once over their new look before coming up to meet their gaze. She smiled genuinely. "You look very nice, my Stevonnie!" Confusion trickled into her words. "Though, er- do you need help with your hair? And, uh... face? Hair?" Her words were mild but her face was deeply puzzled. She'd seen them before they took a bath- maybe she just thought their stubble was some kind of dirt?

 

"I'd like that. I tried to untangle it, but nothing I did made any difference at all... not even any of those brushes on the shelf in the wall did anything. And I didn't see anything to trim my stubble with, though I guess I should have expected that."

 

Olive Pearl was staring at their pseudo-beard. But she soon dragged her eyes back to their hair and her perplexed look shifted to a thoughtful one. "It's too tangled to brush? Hmm..." She tapped her chin with her hand. Her voice dropped into a softer tone. "I wonder if Cranberry's heat treatment would work. Or maybe Gold would know something?" Suddenly her voice jumped in volume, startling Stevonnie. "Ooh, ooh- I bet Coral's disentanglement solution would work!" And she turned her attention back to the half-gem in question. "Wait here- I'll be right back with something to help." And she darted out the door fast enough she had to duck a little to avoid hitting the still retreating frame. "OH!" she suddenly shouted a few steps away, whirling back in to duck back under the door, this time because it was closing. "I forgot to ask- what would you need to trim it?" Olive Pearl cocked her head.

 

"A sword, or scissors, or a razor- anything sharp would work I guess." They answered easily.

 

"I know where to find one of those too!" And Stevonnie watched her scurry off once again. They waited a beat, but the door stayed still and silent, and no rushing footsteps came back towards it.

 

It was silent again.

 

Stevonnie went over to the bed after a moment, thumbing the soft blanket for a second in thought before they turned and sat down to wait. Idly, they bounced their leg. They traced the shape of the bedframe, they examined the pillow (dense and cylindrical), they even checked under the bed to see if there was anything there (there wasn’t)- but still Olive Pearl did not return.

 

Their eyes strayed once again to the white door.

 

They didn't want to worry anyone, but- as long as they didn't go too far and get lost or something, what was the harm in exploring a little? Olive Pearl might not be back for a while and they were _so bored_...

 

But they still approached the door with the tense caution of someone doing something wrong. Closer and closer they crept, until they reached out their hand-

 

And the door pulled up.

 

They squeaked and bounced backwards, hands jerking to clasp each other behind their back, the picture of deeply suspicious innocence. But the black hallway beyond was empty, and a trepidatious shiver ran up their spine.

 

They took a single slow step out,

 

And nothing at all happened.

 

They took another. And then another, and then another, until they were walking tensely down the dark hall at a bit of a clip. The luminescent white edges of the walls lit their way, but disoriented them- the strange and featureless geometry left them without any visual landmarks at all besides stark white and black. They looked all around as they walked, searching for anything at all to distinguish a door or an intersection or _something_ -

 

"My Stevonnie?"

 

They whipped around in shock and- for a sliver of a second- sharp pink and lightning tension filled the corridor,

 

And then Olive Pearl and Stevonnie were staring at each other in surprised silence in an empty hallway.

 

Stevonnie broke it first. They strode forward in stiff, quick strides towards the white door as they talked. "Um, sorry, I just- I didn't know when you were coming back and- lets just go back to the room." Listening closely, they heard tentative footsteps from soft ballet slippers begin to follow them. The door opened smoothly to let them in, and even all-encompassing pink was a relief compared to nothing but black and white. They stopped sharply in the center of the room and whirled to face Olive Pearl with a too-wide grin. "So! What did you find? Something to help with my hair? Tell me about that!" They didn't know why they felt so guilty, so nervous. If they could just scoot past this and not mention it and forget about it then maybe they could stop feeling so sick about it...

 

Olive Pearl watched them for a moment with confusion and worry and... wariness in her big eyes. But it washed reluctantly away as she summoned a huge blue bottle from her gem and cradled the obviously heavy thing to her chest. A wobbly smile crawled up her face as she too tried to forget what had just happened. "W-well, I borrowed a few bottles of fiber disentanglement solution from Coral Pearl- she works with fabric and makes most of the clothes here- she made yours too actually!- and this is what she uses to keep all the threads she's working with at once from knotting up. She's never had to use it on an already made mess, just to prevent them from happening, but it's worth a shot- if it doesn't work I'll just call Gold Pearl and ask, since she knows the most about forms out of everyone I know. But, so, how this works is, she soaks her thread in a bath of this stuff first and then combs it and lays it out to work with. So we need a way to soak your hair first..."

 

Both of them turned to the pink door at the same time. They turned back to look at each again at the same time too. Stevonnie offered an appreciative bright smile to her for her quick thinking, and she offered her own slightly nervous one in return. "The bath!" Stevonnie said with some relief. "But there isn't a lot of space on its edges..."

 

Olive Pearl cocked her head. "I'll just widen the room, it's fine. Your chambers have quite a bit of spare space, for whatever reason. Um... do you not know how to alter a room's dimensions? 'Cause I can show you-"

 

"I'd appreciate it, yeah. Oh, by the way- is there a way to like, turn off the lights or something?"

 

Stevonnie could swear Olive Pearl visibly sweat-dropped, then immediately wanted to know what on earth that meant as the reference bounced off a dark blotch in their head, but she pulled them back to reality. "Uh, why don't I just show you how to work the adjustment interface after we deal with your hair, is that alright?"

 

"Sure. Now lets get to that bath- I swear I can _feel_ how gnarly my hair is, it's been really bugging me." There was a slight bounce in their step as they walked through the pink door and to the bath, Olive Pearl close behind- they really were excited to clean their hair and get it back to normal.

 

They nearly missed it, but they nearly missed a step instead as they realized what they had thought.

 

But- having a hairstyle, even one they didn't remember, was not earth-shattering. They swung open the glass door and held it for Olive Pearl, who looked unnecessarily stupefied for a second before slipping in with an expression of- a glee she didn't think she was supposed to have, maybe. They were sure they heard a quiet giggle from her after she'd passed them.

 

The door swung shut as she went over to wall adjacent to the buttons. At this angle, they couldn't see the screen she was tapping, but its effects were suddenly extremely obvious when, with a great sound like rubber that set every nerve in their body to twitching, the wall to their left slid out, revealing more flat ground and dark walls like the room had always been this size.

 

Olive Pearl turned to them with a smirk, but it dropped when she saw the frozen look on Stevonnie's face and their limbs shivering like they were full of livewires. "M- my Stevonnie?"

 

And just as quick as it had come the spell passed. They dropped in their stance like a released puppet, voice shaky but otherwise normal. "Uh- yeah?"

 

She scrutinized them worriedly. Fear was hidden in the creases and shadows of their face, but they were taking deep breaths and the look was fading. She sighed in return, and allowed it to fade from her worries as well. "Why don't you lie on your back with your head over the ablution-basin, and I'll fill it with the solution."

 

They complied. Staring at the ceiling, they heard soft footsteps hop into the tub and approach, and let their head fall back to look at Olive Pearl with a raised eyebrow. "Are you gonna be in the solution too?"

 

"Yes my Stevonnie. I mean, unless you know of some other way for me to comb your hair? I mean- sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, that was sincere-"

 

"No, it's fine, I was just wondering." They interrupted, waving a hand in the air. Her nervous look slid off easily at the pass, and she popped off whatever sealed the tube shut and turned it over, emptying the whole container into the tub.

 

...It barely reached her ankles.

 

"Uhhhh..."

 

But Olive Pearl was already pulling another out of her gem and repeating the process.

 

...About twenty bottles later, Stevonnie spoke up. "How many of those do you even have?"

 

"Uh, like fifty? Sixty? I didn't count, I just grabbed what looked like enough to fill the basin, since I kind of figured this is how we'd do it. I mean, where else could we soak your hair? The _miniature_ ablution-basin? I mean, I did consider it, but I didn't think it'd be big enough for all your hair at once, and also I'm pretty sure the faucets would get in the way and even then, I definitely couldn't comb it in there." By the time she had finished talking, the pyramid on the edge of the tub had grown another five empty tubes. They took a second to appreciate the way she stacked them- they couldn't figure out how the ones on the bottom didn't roll away and take the rest with them.

 

They sat in companionable silence as Stevonnie watched Olive Pearl work until the solution reached the top of Stevonnie's head. They tilted back up and felt the solution climbing higher still, first touching the back of their head, then eventually swallowing their ears, and it stopped about there.

 

Olive Pearl leaned over them and asked something, but the liquid muffled it. They lifted their neck and shook their ears free of it. "What?"

 

"I said, your hair needs to soak for about forty centicycles, and then I'll try to comb it out."

 

Stevonnie nodded and sank back down. They felt the liquid around them be disturbed as she sunk back out of view.

 

....

 

This was boring. They lifted and shook their head. "Hey, Olive Pearl? Or, can I just call you Olive?"

 

"Uh- I mean, if that's what you wish my D- my Stevonnie..."

 

"Hey, it's cool if you don't want me to-"

 

"That's not- it's just, ah, we Pearls call each other by our shades. Everyone else just calls us Pearl, no matter which one of us they're talking to." She sounded kind of confused to Stevonnie, but they weren't sure about what.

 

They spoke decisively. "Well, that's dumb. If it's okay with you, I'm gonna call you Olive."

 

"...That'd definitely be okay." They heard the smirk in her voice, her tone bringing to mind the mischievously gleeful look on her face when they held the door for them.

 

They couldn't resist pushing that particular button. "So, _Olive_ ," (they heard a quiet giggle), "what do you think we should do while we wait? I'm pretty bored just lying here."

 

There was a beat of silence Stevonnie chose to interpret as Olive taking a second to think. "Well... first, it's gotta be something you don't need to hear for, because the solution can't work on hair that isn't in it!" They cracked a guilty smile. "And it can't be something you have to move around for. Maybe... a guessing game?"

 

"A guessing game!" They exclaimed. "Perfect! So what are the rules?"

 

Olive's head finally slid into full view from the sliver of green that had been hovering at the top of their vision for a while. She was smiling genuinely, her voice getting more lively as she spoke. "Um, how about- I'll project a picture, and you have to guess what it is!"

 

"Sounds great! I'm ready when you are!" Stevonnie beamed as they dropped their head back down a few inches to let the solution wash up over their ears.

 

Olive closed her eyes, and her single hand splayed under her gem as the near-iridescent green turned to a pale glow and a green-tinted hologram took shape in front of their wide eyes. Lines and light coalesced into a figure cut of sharp angles, all perfect lines and shades of hologram-green. It's body was as long and rectangular as its gem, prominent in the center of its face where a nose would have otherwise gone. Its long face held a determined look, despite its minimalism. Only the thinnest layer of hair graced its head, if it even was hair and not a cap or hood of some sort. Its skin was darker than the rest of it, the only dark colored thing about it, with every adornment on it in shades close to white- or rather, very pale green. Thick boots and gloves encased its hands and feet, almost comical against its long, thin limbs.

 

They had no idea who it was.

 

Of course they didn't, they didn't know anything.

 

"I don't know." Their tone was flat, and the deep echo of their voice minus its sound in their skull seemed to reverberate for far longer than it should have. Olive cracked an eye open and the hologram flickered away, her hand coming down in an aborted touch of comfort as Stevonnie saw but didn't hear the shape of their name on her lips. They raised their head. "I'm... sorry, I just. Forgot. I don't know anything, there's nothing for me to guess." A beat of silence choked them. "I'm sorry."

 

Olive's touch was feather-light on their shoulder, her voice just as soft on their ears. "Don't be. I'm sorry I forgot too." Her touch vanished, and Stevonnie could swear the ghost of her fingertips stayed a touch longer. Olive slipped back into the basin and out of sight. "You only have twenty centicycles left. Um, would you like me to sing?" The melancholy tone still laid thick in the air, and Stevonne could not blame her for trying to lift it, even if it seemed a futile effort.

 

Their voice was soft too. "Yes please." And they let their head sink back down.

 

A faint and unreachable melody began to brush their hearing. For a second, all they felt was a sharp and sudden pain at the thought that that was what their memories felt like too, just as implacable and faint.

 

But then they felt the liquid ripple, and Olive's voice bloomed into a dozen layers of echoing harmony. Strange and warbling as it was it was _beautiful_ in a way they had no reference for, no way to contextualize. Notes became chords in and of themselves against the ripples of the artificial echo chamber; words they didn't know and couldn't pick from the strange harmony were soft in their ears but loud in their mind. Their silent world burst to life in an instant through Olive's voice.

 

By the time Olive's performance faded to a single note, and the single note faded to a dull echo, and Olive herself rose from the bottom of the pool to retrieve a comb and get to work, Stevonnie had stopped crying- but tear tracks were stiff and obvious on their face.

 

Olive's worried face hovered over them, pink comb in her barely visible hand. "Oh, my Stevonnie- was my singing not good enough? Did you really dislike it that much? You could have asked me to stop-"

 

"Your singing was wonderful." They spoke slow and soft, unsure of their words. "They were happy tears! I just... I don't remember music either, I guess. That makes yours the first I've heard since I woke up, and..."

 

A look of- not relief, not really understanding either, but- sympathy, maybe, softened her face. "I see. Thank you for the compliment, my Stevonnie." She looked like she had something else to say, but her mouth stayed closed as she sat back to begin her task.

 

Olive was slow and careful and quiet as she moved the comb gently through their locks. Occasionally, she would hum a fragment under her breath before catching herself, and Stevonnie couldn't find the words to ask her to sing again. So they stayed quiet too, and found sleep approaching the edges of their brain as the intermittent melody and calming motions of the comb lulled them into a light doze.

 

It was some time later that Olive's voice roused them, but they couldn't know how long. "My Stevonnie? Um, uh, my Stevonnie, please wake up. ...Stevonnie?"

 

They blinked at Olive's too close face. "Uhhh..."

 

Luckily, she hopped up in a flash. "Um, sorry to wake you, but this is a terrible place to sleep, and also you need to eat before you sleep, and also I still have this slicing tool for you to groom your facial growth with."

 

Stevonnie sat up and blinked at the wall. Stood up and blinked at the floor. Turned around and blinked at Olive, and blinked at the scissors they took from her offering hand.

 

They were almost comically small.

 

...They'd have to do.

 

The basin was empty, they noticed. They opened the door for Olive again on the way out of the bath room, and the smile on her face roused them a little from their post-nap stupor. The room was noticeably devoid of discarded clothes, but they didn't think the grimy, too-small things were worth asking after. Walking to the mirror, they took a moment to examine what the solution and Olive's ministrations had done to their hair; inexplicably dry poof framed them to the shoulders, glossy and a healthy shade of true black instead of the matte mess from before.

 

Before they got started on the trim, they had on more thing to do. They picked the discarded strip of fabric up from the counter. There was a pleasing muscle memory to the action of tying up their hair with the white ribbon, a satisfying surety to the action. It made them feel prepared for anything- even though it was a silly feeling to get from tying a bow. In the mirror, they noticed Olive unduly enraptured behind them.

 

Now, onto their stubble, which frankly was a little beyond stubble territory. But they were going to fix that!

 

...Fix it how, though? "Hey Olive?"

 

She startled at the address. "Yes, my Stevonnie?"

 

"Should I just trim it or should I get rid of it, do you think? I can't decide..."

 

A flash of... something came over her, but it passed, and she spoke up a little softer. "Ah, I'm not... I don't know what Chrysoprase's plans for you are, in terms of what you need to know at this point- she warned us too much too soon could be dangerous, since unlocking your old memories would be a disaster, and she said- she kind of implied that your being organic was... a secret? Or at least not widely known. So... it would probably be for the best that you get rid of it."

 

That was a little disappointing, honestly, though they didn't know why. Something about the way she said it, something about keeping their nature secret at all made their gut turn a little.

 

But all Stevonnie knew was what Chrysoprase had told them, and Olive knew more of what she said than they did- and knew about the world outside at all, which is more than they could say for themself. So a little reluctantly, and very meticulously, Stevonnie snip-snip-snipped away their stubble, until they were looking at a clean-shaven face in the mirror.

 

...They did look better with no beard than a bad one, at least.

 

"How do I look?"

 

Olive jumped again. She had watched with misplaced fascination the whole time, and only now came back to herself. "You look wonderful! I'm- forgive me if this is sort of weird, but I really am happy to see you happy and clean. You were in pretty bad shape when you first woke up and... I didn't know you before, but even I can tell that this is more like you than that was. So... you look nice, but I'm just glad you don't look so unhappy."

 

A flower bloomed in their chest. They didn't know how else to describe the feeling. There was something heavy at the bottom of them, something like the sound of dread's heavy footsteps approaching, and it had only grown since they woke up, but- they were briefly deaf to the drumbeat as they smiled at Olive and clapped a hand to her shoulder. "Thank you Olive." Her green blush only made them smile wider.

 

Their stomach suddenly released an earthquake of a growl, and their hand came back to cradle their stomach. They winced at the sudden sharp pain, but spoke with only slightly forced humor. "Now- you said something about food?"

 

"Yep! The alert for your late meal should be going off any millicycle-"

 

A quiet but clear ' _ding!_ ' came from the main room. Dread rose up in them like a wave, crashed on their emotional beach, and washed away, leaving them shaken and unable to parse why.

 

"That'll be food! After this, you can go to sleep if you want."

 

They yawned and then frowned, still unsettled but trying to forget it. "I didn't wake up that long ago though..."

 

"Newly set gems tend to sleep for long periods of time while they adjust. Your rest requirements will eventually fall to a more reasonable level, but a setting does take some energy. Do you- normally sleep?"

 

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Why?" As they said it, they began walking towards the door. Olive followed easily.

 

"Because gems with settings have to sleep a little bit. I don't know how it'll affect you when you already have to sleep for longer!"

 

They entered the main room, where a brand new piece of furniture greeted them. Across from the footboard of the bed, against the opposite wall, a flimsy looking but cute white plastic chair sat beside a white plastic table for one. On the table, a blue plastic plate sat, and on the plate, there was a burger.

 

Stevonnie made a beeline for it.

 

The burger was gone quickly, and the bottle of water that was next to it soon after. Stale and cold as the burger had been, it was delicious to them.

 

"...What does that even feel like?"

 

They felt a hot flash of embarrassment at the realization that their feeding frenzy had been observed, but it faded quickly at the realization that Olive probably had no concept of table manners at all. They didn't remember what that phrase meant either, but they didn't have to- table manners seemed pretty literal, given the context.

 

"Uh- like I really needed to eat that, and that I'm pretty happy I ate it. I don't- really know what you're asking?"

 

For a second they mildly dreaded being drilled further on the subject as Olive's curious stare bored into them, but they breathed a sigh of relief when she seemed to startle with self-awareness and guiltily trotted over to the wall next to the white door with a green blush. "Do you want to go to sleep now, or do you want to learn how to use the adjustment interface first?"

 

They wanted to learn it first, but- recently fed and still kind of drowsy from their impromptu nap, they ultimately decided the interface would still be there when they woke up. "I think I'm gonna pass out. Can you teach me when I wake up?"

 

"Of course. Would you like me to turn the lights down, as is customary for diurnal organics?"

 

"Yes please."

 

"Oh, before you go to sleep-" she bounced over in a few quick strides, summoning something from her gem, "-nearly forgot, here is your sleeping set. They're clothes specifically for sleeping in. Just leave your current set in the ablution room, and I'll make sure they're clean by the time you wake up."

 

"Uh- thanks." They took the clothes and walked back into the bathroom, and quickly were looking down at themself dressed in a loose, simple white dress, soft and thick and warm. Thinner but still soft light pink pants clad their legs, and their feet were bare. They took the time to fold the clothes they just got out of, uncomfortable with just leaving them strewn about. They felt kind of bad about only wearing them for what felt like five minutes.

 

They walked back out to a room lit only by the dim white glow of the floor. Olive Pearl stood by the white door, but approached when she saw them exit the bathroom. "One last thing- here is a communicator. It's a very simple module, the type we give newbies, and you'll definitely get a better one later, but for now- it doesn't have a password, you can just activate it and use it, and the only two numbers in it will contact me and Chrysoprase. Don't hesitate to call if you need something."

 

Olive clearly had somewhere to be, with the way she rushed through her words and nearly darted to the door when she was done. Stevonnie was ready for her departure too- the dark and the warm clothes had only made the weights on their eyes heavier. They waved amiably at her. "Goodnight, Olive." They flopped heavily onto the bed, and they barely bounced it was so plush.

 

There was silence, and then the sound of an opening door and a retreating Pearl.

 

Sleep kissed their forehead and soon, they knew nothing more.

 

\--------

  
  
  


"Report."

 

Citrine Facet-8F6N Cut-5HW had nothing.

 

"Report."

 

Condor Agate Facet-3Y0L Cut-4GX had nothing.

 

"Report."

 

Nephrite Facet-3Y2E Cut-0GI had nothing.

 

"Report."

 

Nephrite Facet-1V0X Cut-9DM had nothing.

 

Heavy steps ran up through Yellow Pearl's legs, vibrating up her whole form. The force of Blue Diamond was inescapable, from the way Yellow Pearl only kept her footing from millenia of practice, to the messy, disgusting mask of tears covering her face and dripping down her form. She could feel it soaking into her fabric. She hated it, but she kept her face as still as she could through the grief. She hated it, but not any more than she hated it the last thousand times this had happened.

 

She was, however, briefly jealous of Blue Pearl's single discreet rivulet, in the detached way of an emotion you do not humor for fear of letting it take root.

 

Yellow Pearl may not be so composed in the face of Blue Diamond's overwhelming luminosity, but she got the better Diamond. A more than fair trade. Still, she traded glances with her counterpart- or rather, she glanced at Blue Pearl, and Blue Pearl's gaze remained as inscrutable as ever. Yellow Pearl could swear she saw her head raise a little though, and allowed herself to feel a spark of validation at the acknowledgement- even if it was just projected.

 

Yellow Pearl and Blue Pearl were told to leave, and they did so without hesitation. They stood in silence by the door- Yellow Pearl would like to imagine it the companionable type. But maybe that was projecting too. It's not like it mattered- Blue Pearl would never tell her either way. They were Pearls. The Pearls of Diamonds, even. Their purpose was not to socialize or have friends, or even amiable co-workers. Their purpose was to serve their respective Diamonds. Period.

 

But it really was boring, standing out here in silence as Blue Diamond wept over a twice-missing prodigal Diamond. As Yellow Diamond comforted her. As overpowering emotion leaked into her gem, and even through the door Yellow Pearl's eyes were clouded with tears and her mind clouded with a sense of dread and despair.

 

(If you asked Yellow Pearl- or rather, if you rifled through her deepest thoughts, because never in a trillion kilocycles would she speak it out loud- you would find a suspicion that a lie had been told, a trick twice played. It would be cruel, and it was a cruel suspicion, but it was an honest one. It was also, unknown to her, not a terribly uncommon one among the seekers sent to find.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter trivia:  
> -Olive Pearl projected an image of a Selenite  
> -There's a fair bit of foreshadowing/subtext/i dont know what to call it but im pretty proud of myself for being Capable Of Mediocre Subtlety  
> -Olive Pearl almost was just a clumsy oaf who fell over and immediately left, but I decided that was dumb because i needed someone interesting to interact with Stevonnie
> 
> Now that ive gone from Constant Scene Breaks to Only A Few, expect longer chapters. Im trying to keep each one above the 10,000 word mark now. That was my original goal, actually, but with the chunks i didnt want to like. dilute it with mediocre or useless chunks just to beef up the word count. But! things have changed! and i am ready to give you Actual Plot Content!
> 
> As always, constructive criticism is Encouraged and Appreciated!
> 
> also- keep forgetting to do this- my writing tumblr is dekupages.tumblr.com! come ask me questions, or just talk at me about fic or fandom stuff! also also, my name is Danny!

**Author's Note:**

> -The wind gems were Iolites, if you were wondering.  
> -If Rutilated Quartz weren't rutilated, she'd be a Rose Quartz.
> 
>  
> 
> so! you may notice that this single chapter is nearly longer than the longest fic ive ever posted.
> 
> im a little bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my art. i dont like writing things i dont love, i dont like going back and trimming fat because it feels like a waste, i dont like forcing myself to write because then what i write feels forced.
> 
> but it doesnt matter that i dont like those things, cause ill never be a better writer if i never actually write.
> 
> so yes- im not thrilled about this, its not my best work, i wish it flowed more, i wish i were better at pacing- but i wrote this, even when i got stuck, even when i wasnt feeling it, and now im done and to me? its huge.
> 
> so yeah. ill be sad if no one responds to this fic, definitely, but for once i dont want the point of this fic to be just... validation (though i do really really love that sweet sweet validation). im writing this for the sake of writing, for the sake of practicing writing so i can improve. im not gonna abandon this fic, and im not gonna write short chapters. and tell me what you like or dislike! tell me if some grammar flows weirdly! i would genuinely like some constructive criticism if you have any to offer.
> 
> thanks for reading. see you soon.


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